Do You Believe In Magic?

Before we begin in earnest, let's review two events from the past week:

1. As you will recall, on Sunday, December 12, TJOW published a column focused on the military's Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT) policy. It was the first time we had written about this unconstitutional, discriminatory approach to squelching free speech and individual freedom in the military workplace, a policy that cost a reported 13,500 people their job.

2. A mere seven days later, on Saturday, December 18, in a 63 to 33 vote, the Senate repealed DADT. After 17 years, the ban on gays and lesbians serving openly in the military will end.

We post on December 12 and the Senate takes historic action on December 18. Coincidence? You be the judge.

Calls to leading senators of both parties to confirm the connection between our blog and their vote have not yet to be returned.

Of course we still await the President's response to TJOW's two compelling proposals, each designed to put at least 5 million unemployed back to work (Dear Mr. President, August 8; Dear Mr. President, Part II, August 29). Mr. President, please get with the program. We're talking two worthy plans here. And, Dude, don't look now but you could use a significant boost in the polls, having alienated just about everyone who voted for you with the extension of the Bush tax cuts. So take a look at our proposals and get in touch. We're talking jobs, Mr. President. Time's a wastin'.

Speaking of magic, it seems that there's simply too little of it to go around these days. That bounce in the step, sparkle in the eye, confidence in the voice that motivates, strengthens and emboldens us to act with determination. That mojo that raises valleys, lowers mountain tops, that makes even the most audacious goals seem somehow possible, attainable. That energy that quells doubts, calms nerves, that inspires us to dream of what can be. The spirit of hope.

Yes, that magic.

So, we ask: What happened to it? Where's it gone?

And we answer: Nothing. It hasn't gone anywhere. It's still here. We're just not using it as often as we should.

Why we're not using it is easy to explain. The magic of which we speak is dampened by uncertainty and fear. The uncertainty that accompanies a poor economy. The fear that is the product of depressed corporate earnings, little or no revenue growth, on-going reorganizations, job eliminations. High unemployment. Budget crises in cities and states. Lowered giving to non-profits. The talk that the economy is yet to turn upward. The prognostications that growth will continue at a snail's pace. That we'll be in this for years.

Indeed, it's hard to be up-beat, optimistic in the face of the doom and gloom that we've been hammered with the last few years. How not to be affected by the onslaught of negativity? And let's not overlook the power of the season, as short, dark, cold days don't help. They, too, tend to undermine our ability to feel that warm glow of hope.

So, it's easy to explain the loss of the magic. A more important question, though, is this: How to get it back?

We fervently suggest the following:

1. Believe! The magic exists! Feel it, touch it, smell it (to steal a good line from The Producers). It's right where you left it, ready for use.

2. Start small. Let yourself feel a bit of optimism about something, anything. That this week will be better than the last. That a good thing will happen. That 2011 will be better than 2010. That there's reason to hope.

3. Build. Small gains beget larger gains. Allow the simple act of feeling optimistic warm your soul. Look carefully about you and you'll see that there is reason to be positive, to be confident. A child's smile might do it. A good laugh. A favorite song. The belief that life can be good.

4. Expand. As your confidence returns and the magic again flows, find a cause, a purpose. (What, you thought this was only about you? Don't be silly! You're not alone in this. The magic is wasted unless you use it for a greater good.) Have a favorite charity, an organization that needs your help? Yes? Cool. Get more involved. No? Find one before the week is out, make the call, and seek a specific way to help it. (Need help? I've got a list of dozens of wonderful organizations that would love your involvement.)

5. Share. Magic is more powerful when it can be shared. Amazing but true, our magic produces more when we help others feel it. There's nothing quite like bolstering someone's sense of optimism. Try it this week. It is, after all, the season of giving.

6. Maintain. Magic takes work. You've got to fight for it. Once you have it back, you've got to use it -- or lose it. Using it daily is easier than losing it and starting over again. Find reasons to be optimistic and use that magic to invigorate others. Together, we can recharge the souls -- the mojo -- of thousands.

Find the magic. Rekindle optimism. Help ourselves by helping others. Let's get a running start on 2011. We need it to be a very good year.

Happy birthday, Mom! And, of course, Merry Christmas! See you next week with predictions for 2011.

Bless Their Hearts (and a warning)

Warning. This blog contains:

• IP Intense Political Views
  
• GN Gratuitous Name-calling
  
• BR Borderline Ranting
• AH Attempted Humor
  
• ESUBEOWSKBBD Exposure of Self-serving, Unconstitutional Behavior by Elected Officials Who Should Know Better But Don't
  

Readers beware.

Bless their hearts. An expression from our Southern brothers and sisters packing marvelous power and unparalleled innuendo. An expression that honors the commitment, honesty, unswerving devotion of others. As in:

Bless his heart for all he's done for this organization. Bless her heart for the effort she's devoted to our team. Bless their hearts for the time they've given, for the money they've raised.

Ah, but that's only the half of it. For this same expression also isolates and calls out the frailties, inabilities, the absolute stupidity of others. As in:

He'd miss the point if it ran up, spun around, screamed 'You're an idiot!' and hit him between the eyes, bless his heart. She's got less sense than my dog -- and he's been dead for three years, bless her heart. They couldn't find a right answer to save their lives, bless their hearts.

Best yet is the subtle usage of this terrific expression, as in He certainly tries hard, bless his heart. Honoring the effort while bemoaning the failure. An elegant, polite, civilized way of calling someone a stupid f*****g idiot. But in a nice way. The epitome of passive-aggressive.

A fabulous expression, no? Use it a few times. It will grow on you.

Speaking of John McCain, bless his heart, let's take a moment to consider his inane and obstructionist position on the military's 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy. Earlier this month, Admiral Mike Mullen, the Chair of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and Robert Gates, the Secretary of Defense, both stated before Congress that this 1993 law had outlived its usefulness and urged its repeal. Backed by a comprehensive study that demonstrated overwhelming majorities of men and women serving in the armed forces are prepared to serve with openly gay or lesbian soldiers, they called for the end of the unfair, discriminatory, unconstitutional practice.

Was that enough for McCain? Did he heed the strong advice of those with the duty and responsibility to oversee the military? Did he allow the Secretary of Defense and the Chair of the Joint Chiefs of Staff to do their jobs? No, bless his heart. Why? Because John knows better.

Their interchange is a good one:



Let's step back for a moment to take stock of this amazing situation. Here we have the Secretary of Defense and the Chair of the Joint Chiefs of Staff stating with conviction before a hearing of the Senate Armed Services Committee on Capital Hill that all should have the opportunity to fight and die for their country without having to hide their sexual orientation. Gays and lesbians should have the right, the honor, they both testified, to serve their country openly with pride. Who would have thought we'd see this day? We have, without doubt, come a long way, baby.

And then there's John McCain, leading the Republican opposition to the repeal of a law that was wrong and illegal from the get go. As we're constantly reminded, the man's a war hero, so give him some credit. We can also be sure that he speaks from his heart. That said, McCain's supporting a position that is both discriminatory and unconstitutional -- two rather important failings, bless his heart.

The military is a place of work. Those who volunteer for the right to defend our way of life, our Constitution, by putting their life on the line should have the same protection under the law as people who work anywhere else in this country. Here, it's illegal to discriminate in the workplace due to, among other things: gender, age, ethnicity, religious affiliation and sexual preference. The only thing eligible for discrimination at work? Performance. That's it, John.

So, Senator McCain, we suggest the following:

• Let military leadership lead. Get out of the way of the Secretary of Defense and the Chair of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Don't you have anything else to do?
  

• Wake up, Dude. The vast majority of military was born after 1985. Being gay or lesbian isn't a big deal to them.

• You swore to uphold the Constitution, John. Time to start, no?

• You're from Arizona. The sun can be fierce. Wear a hat.
  

Bless his heart.

Now to our warning: Stay away from E! network's Bridalplasty, a reality game show in which, according to E!, "Brides-to-be compete in challenges to earn plastic surgery procedures in a quest to win their ultimate dream wedding." E! goes on to say that this show is "the only one where the winner gets cut".

I'm not making this up. I couldn't. I'm not that sick.

Have a great week.

Spreading Joy

Nice to have you back. Nice to be back.

For many, this is a tough time of year. Shoppers bowling others over in store aisles and jostling in check-out lines as carols play in the background. Drivers maneuvering beyond aggressively for that last parking space, the winner -- the person who cut in front of you to take the space -- sporting a holiday wreath on the front of the car. People decked out in festive attire who refuse to stop talking on their mobile while paying -- how rude is that! -- and who become indignant, righteous even, when urged to get off their phone and move things along.

And that's when we're not at work. (Where many of us go if only to get a break from the mayhem of the holiday season.)

It's definitely a tough time of year. There's simply too much forced joy in the air. And not nearly enough kindness.

So we ask: Is being kind, spreading happiness such hard work? Apparently so.

We at TJOW, of course, beg to differ. Spreading joy isn't nearly as hard as many might think.

And let's be clear, we're not talking about random acts of kindness. We're talking about purposeful, consistent, on-going, habit-forming acts of kindness. Simple, no-cost acts of graciousness that, in their small way, spread joy.

Holding doors, allowing a car to merge, complimenting her shoes, praising his outfit, helping someone cross the street -- these are easy. Take a step up and tell a co-worker or two how much you appreciate them. Thank an employee for the sacrifices, for working long hours. Write to that long-lost friend. Call the cousin you miss. Tell a friend from high school about the crush you had on him/her. Advance to a yet higher level, go old-school and send a hand-written, heart-felt thank-you note to someone, anyone for just about anything. Send a note of appreciation to your CEO. Write to your mom, your dad. Give a friend a hug -- and not some lame, insincere air hug, but the real thing -- just because. Seek out someone you wronged and apologize. Write a poem. Sing a song.

We're offering small, easy, no-cost suggestions. Think for a moment and you'll have ideas. But don't let us get in the way of you going big. The Opera Company of Philadelphia has promised 1,000 random acts of culture, all designed to enrich the lives of others. This one is spectacular. We defy you not to feel better while watching.



Spread joy. You'll feel good. Someone else will feel good. And who knows? It just might become contagious. Millions might get into the act.

We're all in this together. We can make a conscious choice to be polite, considerate, even kind. Do that and we, together, can make this a much happier season -- a season that won't end on the 25th.

We're in. Are you?

And to those of you who'd like a new, non-Adam Sandler Chanukah song, check this out. It's a kick. Happy Chanukah!

Now get busy spreading joy.

When It's Just Mediocre

TJOW welcomes back Steve Lundeen. You laughed and cried with him a couple of weeks ago. Enjoy this point-counterpoint, dueling-banjos response to last week's blog.

Last week Alan exhausted the breadth and depth of my vocabulary in describing the most horrible work environments on the planet. It got me thinking that having things that bad is unusual – not rare today – but unusual.

What seems to be more 'usual' to me is a work environment that’s not engaging, not fun. I think for most of us it’s like living in Middle Earth, in purgatory. Not thrilled where we are and not unhappy enough to move on. Where everyone wants me to be engaged, but it’s tough to do when I’m spending most of my time looking over my shoulder wondering if I’m next on the 'hit' parade.

So, what to do? Seems like there are a few options...and they don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

Option 1: Quityourbellyaching!

Option 2: Get busy figuring out what 'next' looks like

Option 3: Re-engage

Let's consider each.

Option 1: Quityourbellyaching! Quityourbellyaching! is a sign my in-laws had in an obvious but discreet location in their kitchen. I never spent a lot of time in that house, but I do have vivid memories of my father-in-law, Sonny, giving the 'directional arrow' with his thumb to the sign when there was any hint of whining.

So if your work situation has you living in the land of mediocrity, I would suggest that the first course of action is to stop your personal pity-party and take a fresh outlook, a new perspective on the situation.

Option 2: Get busy figuring out what 'next' looks like. What does next look like? Rather than wallowing in that morass you seem to be in, start 'facing forward'. Rather than the world taking charge of your journey, reclaim your destiny. Clear you mind of what your world is imposing on you. All too often we are inappropriately influenced by those around us. Your support network has your best interest at heart, but they’re looking at your best interest through their eyes. While their intentions are good and pure, they’re giving you advice and direction based on their perspective and their values. Really paying attention to your own inner voice can be a daunting challenge with all the cacophony around you.

Take some time to cocoon and get introspective about where you want to go, what you want to do...and what you’re willing to commit to.

As you do so, consider the 4F’s:

• Failures – these are things you know you’ll never get. Admit you want them and then walk away.

• Fantasies – these are things you really want and thoroughly enjoy wanting them. For example, dating Angelina or Brad...or both of them...or playing for the World Champion San Francisco Giants (an Alan fantasy, to be sure).

• Frustrations – these are things you could have but aren’t willing to pay their price.

• Fulfillments – things you really want, are willing to pay the price for and can have or achieve. Obviously your energies are best placed here.

This is a busy time of year. The holidays are approaching, which may be incredibly distracting when considering your next big steps. But with the start of a new year, we all to some degree look toward launching new and more fulfilling things. If you’re in the land of mediocrity, take this time to contemplate 'next' and step into the land of commitment to make your dream, your vision happen.

Option 3: Re-engage. This is my favorite. Step up and become the leader that you are...or test drive the leader that you want to be. A quote I particularly love: “It’s very difficult to lead the orchestra when you’re using both hands to cover your ass.” It’s time for you to re-engage with your group, your department, your division, your company and make a difference for positive change. Step up and start leading your orchestra.

Your situation was once great. What does your new 'great' look like? What can you do to get on that course again? Remember the excitement of your first day, your first week in a new job? Make today your new first day and hit the day with renewed vigor for being a change agent for good. I don’t mean or want to sound too Pollyanna here, but you are in charge of you and you can make all the difference.

Of course, this is also a thinly veiled commercial for services we at The Schnur Consulting Group offer. Because that’s what we do – we help organizations drive change and accelerate growth through their most important asset, their people.

So, please, get out there and turn the culture of failure, of mediocrity, into a culture of winning. Rekindle your flame of enthusiasm. But first and foremost, take care of you. Pay attention, focus forward and have fun.

And remember, we can help.

Steve, a brilliant executive coach, can be reached at steve@schnurconsulting.com. Harass him as you would me.

When It's Bad, Real Bad

Ever worked in a place that was bad, truly bad? A place that gives new meaning to 'vile'?

A place that sets a new world record on the Horrid Place To Work Scale, achieving the dreaded -- but impressive in its own right -- rating of 'No Self-respecting, Intelligent, Reasonably-decent Human Being Should Ever, Ever Work Here'. Yes, that high. Or that low.

A place that takes stupidity to entirely new heights. Stupidity that's incomprehensible, nearly indescribable. Where even you can't quite believe the things you see happen at work.

A place redefining 'demeaning'. Where relentless micro-management would be an improvement. Where management believes trust is demonstrated by not strip-searching employees when they leave work each day.

A job where Monday is dreaded and Tuesday is the hump day to the Hump Day.

A job where frustration builds logarithmically, is endless and unavoidable. Where it actually seems as if things are done purposefully to create frustration, especially in those trying to get things done.

A place awful in every way conceivable. Where even the air has an odor, where the water is foul.

A job creating such boredom that you actually take time to calculate how much you earn each minute, remembering to control for holidays and other days off, subtracting the cost of commuting and food. And when that gets dull -- and depressing -- you figure out how much you earn with each breath.

A place where a bad decision is hoped for, longed for, since a bad decision is better than no decision at all.

Where doing a good job is pointless and, worse, may not even be desired.

A place where long hours are required but productivity is not.

A job in which co-workers actually resent when someone tries to deliver.

Where time until retirement is known by everyone. In hours.

A job you're embarrassed to admit you have. Even to yourself.

A place where there is, indeed, no hope.

We're talking bad. Real bad.

Ever had such a job? Worked in such a place?

We sincerely hope not.

But, given the economy and the impact it's had on many organizations throughout the world, we expect that you've experienced at least some horror, even if minor, where you work. For at times, even the best places to work resemble torture chambers of the worst kind. We've seen how a combination of a poor economy, falling stock price, diminishing market share, and overly ambitious goals can form a perfect storm that creates uncertainty, indecision, even paralysis, and undermines solid organizations. We've watched from afar as companies have lost relevance and we've seen the toll this has taken on what were once vibrant, successful businesses. We've followed the plight of organizations struggling to recover lost glory as they unwittingly -- yet highly effectively -- created a culture of failure and, in the process, extinguished the enthusiasm and drive of the people who work in them.

We've seen this all too often. And we know it's avoidable. Equally important, we know it can be fixed. Companies -- like most living, breathing entities -- can regain their swagger, their mojo. They can again create positive momentum. They can turn things around. They can win. But they'll need their people to do it.

So, even if your job and workplace score high on the Horrid Place To Work Scale, there is hope. The economy is turning. We can see sunlight at the end of the long, dark economic tunnel we've been in.

Take a deep breath: There's the first scent of optimism in the air.

And for that we're grateful. And thankful.

Thank You for the Music

We have a very special treat this week, campers. A guest blogger! (A rookie, too, so hazing is perfectly acceptable -- and expected.) Steve Lundeen, a member of The Schnur Consulting Group and head of our Midwest region. He's got something good to say. So, please give him your full attention.

In his September 26 submission (You Could Be In Pictures), Alan waxed eloquent – I guess that’s redundant, he always does – about the music of our personal soundtrack. He asked important questions about what the background music playing during our day, our week, our highs, our lows would be. And, certainly, it’d be really great if we could hear the track to forewarn us of impending trouble or to help us recognize when a moment really is wonderful, euphoric...like those Viagra or Cialis ads. (Do you ever wonder how many of those you’re missing?)

For me the soundtrack in my life resonates when I pay attention, start listening with more than my ears. And it’s taking control, to the extent one can, of what’s playing. What’s your approach? Are you listening to the "radio” - where you’re having the soundtrack chosen for you? Or are you using your “CD player” -- where you’re in charge of your own, personal playlist?

Of course, we all live in a big, dynamic world where stuff is coming at us all the time...24/7. So, the trick is: How do we manage? I believe the key is doing a better, more focused job of managing what we can. Namely, ourselves. That truly is the only thing we can control. If we all take more time to focus on “self”, to build our own “playlist”, we will present to the world our personal best. And when we do that, everybody and everything gets better.

Alan’s submission ended with “May this – and every week – be filled with music that defines you.” That advice truly resonates with me. But more than define me, music serves as an inspiration. I wholeheartedly agree with Alan’s wish for all of us, but I’d like to add to it. Be proactive, take charge of inspiring yourself, don’t wait for your personal soundtrack to start playing...it is, in fact, already playing. In many ways, this may be a perfect time for you to hit the “pause” button on all the other noise in your life and put on your personal earphones and pay attention. Really pay attention.

I mentioned above focusing on self. Think about self for a moment. I’m not talking about selfish – but self. When you’re paying attention to self the volume on your personal sound track will start to crescendo. Noticing this will help you become more authentic. And when you get to that place, you and everything around you gets better. You’ll find yourself in a place of more clarity, calm, control. This may sound counter-intuitive to the world you live in. But when you settle into that calming place of authenticity and fulfillment you’ll perform that much better in your “orchestra”.

The next part of this is where/how is your music playing in the symphony of your life? (I’m working hard at keeping this metaphor going.) Unless you’ve decided to become a recluse, you’re “music” is an element of the bigger orchestra/band/combo/chorus in which you live.

I’ve spent my whole life being on a team, choirs and choruses; in athletics, from youth programs through semi-pro football; and, of course, corporate America. I believe the trick is to get real clarity around your “music” and then work to incorporate that into the environment, culture that helps bring resonance, clarity and, ultimately, joy to your life.

Here are a couple of videos that resonate with me. You’ll see incredible camaraderie, teamwork and fun, encouragement of risk-taking, operating out of one’s comfort zone – and yet feeling safe, making do with the talents and gifts we have, and the synergy of a group working in harmony.

In this first clip, do notice a very young Johnny Carson.



In this second video, be sure to notice the music these talented artists are making without instruments...just workin’ with what they’ve got.



I hope you enjoy...but mostly I hope this helps you focus on, and make a commitment to, defining your own music.


About Steve. Steve Lundeen has for over 25 years of experience as an executive with Eddie Bauer, Sunglass Hut International, Bath & Body Works and Life Time Fitness and has worked as a consultant and coach with Capella University, GfK Global Custom Research, Medtronic, Thrivent Financial, University of Minnesota and Xerox. Steve holds a BA from the University of Minnesota and a Coaching Certification from Coaches Training Institute, San Rafael, CA. While at the University of Minnesota, Steve was President of the Men’s Glee Club. Along with his wife, Katie, Steve has sung the National Anthem at several sporting events in Minneapolis (and enjoys a very successful won-loss record). Steve also has the distinction of being the starting center on the last Big 10 Championship football team from the University of Minnesota. He can be reached at steve@schnurconsulting.com. [Editor's note: Please write to him and abuse him as you do me. He'll love it.]

Thank You, Giants

Before our feet return to the ground, TJOW would like to extend a warm and heartfelt thank you to the San Francisco Giants. They've done something no other San Francisco baseball club has ever done. In the process, they've also provided a series of teachable moments for anyone interested in creating a culture of success, a tradition of winning.

Indeed, how the Giants became champions and, impressively, how they've handled themselves since winning the World Series establishes an important blueprint for any organization interested in outperforming their competition. In many ways, the Giants stole liberally from The Schnur Consulting Group's playbook on creating and sustaining high-performing organizations. And as life-long Giants fans, we're thrilled they did.

Thank you, Giants! Thank you for:

• Believing that the team is more important than any individual -- and building systems to support that concept.
  

• Demonstrating that 'chemistry' -- a.k.a. culture -- is essential to winning.

• Finding talented players who fit, who could be one of us, and who could truly become San Francisco Giants.
  

• Allowing the team to create its own stories, its own personalities, its own idiosyncrasies, its own internal rules. It's no irony that during the team's many losing years, facial hair and long hair were forbidden on Giants players. (It's unclear, though, if there was ever a rule against thongs...)
  

• Selecting for the post season roster only those capable of playing San Francisco baseball -- regardless of salary, tenure or age. (Thanks for being a mensch, Zito.)
  

• Honoring the traditions and the history of the organization. This is for you, Willie, Willie, Orlando, Juan, Will, J.T., Rich, Jeff, Barry and hundreds of other former players who laid the foundation.
  

• Including the entire organization in the World Series. The Giants chartered 747s to fly all front office staff and their families to Texas. An act undoubtedly never to be forgotten by those involved.
  

• Demonstrating that everyone associated with the team has a vital role. Ticket takers, other stadium personnel and front office staff marched at the head of the parade.
  

• Honoring those who added to the allure of the team. Steve 'Don't Stop Believing' Perry of Journey, Ashkon of 'Don't Stop Believing' parody fame (see last week's blog), and the 'Fear the Beard' phrase coiner were all featured in the parade.
  

• Encouraging fans -- customers -- to consider themselves to be an essential part of the team, and
  

• Knowing that emotion drives performance. And using it effectively to beat superior opponents.
  

Clearly, the Giants get it. Maybe other organizations can learn and apply some of the fundamentals demonstrated so brilliantly this season. We can show you how to make it happen.

But mostly, though, thank you for this, Giants. A trophy for the ages.

And especially for this.