Bad Assumptions

We're entering only the 3rd week of the new year and it's fair to say that we're not off to a great start. The incomprehensible devastation that is Haiti tops the list. If you haven't already done so, please consider donating anything you can to Doctors Without Borders, Oxfam, or any organization you think might get supplies and services to Haiti quickly. Even easier, text 'Haiti' to 90999 from your cell phone to make an automatic $10 donation to the Red Cross. Text often. Please.

This is when we, as a citizenry, shine. We're often good at opening our hearts and wallets when people near us are undone by nature. And make no mistake about it: Haiti has been undone. As a result, opportunities to contribute abound. Organizations are coming forward -- including, among many others, the National Football League -- to donate help to these people who are in desperate need. Even many of the television networks are coming together Friday evening to raise money for Haiti.

Yet, in the midst of the rush to provide whatever assistance we can, there's the other Rush who, in yet another amazingly insensitive, ignorant, inhumane and, what?, brutish display urged his listeners not to help Haiti in any way. Is this the lack of drugs talking (detox is a bitch, right Rush?) or was the man dropped on his head two or three times too often as a child? Regardless, Rush Limbaugh's actions are a reminder that evolution is a slow and painful process.

And then there's Pat Robertson's assertion that Haiti's plight was sealed years ago as a result of a 'pact with the devil'. The 'curse', according to Pat, is a 'true story'. While another wonderful example of buffoonery in all of its splendor, at least Pat made this claim while seeking to raise relief money for Haiti. At least that.

Please join me in proving that humanity trumps ignorance. Choose to help rather than to judge or scorn. Send whatever cash you can. You'll feel good while helping others.

Speaking of galling ignorance -- one of our favorite topics -- it's time to introduce Bad Assumptions, the game where things sound right, until you see that something's wrong. Often terribly wrong. Watch and you'll see.

Let's start easy. NBC. Can we assume that the leadership of this once-great television network has the first clue about how to reinvent itself? If we do, it's a bad assumption.

Leno at 10? Leno now at 11:30? Conan gone? The brunt of jokes from far and wide?

First of all, like anyone cares.

Secondly, what were they thinking in the first place?

A horrendously bad assumption.

Last week, Mark McGwire, in what looked to be a bold and soul-cleansing move, announced to the world what most baseball fans long-suspected: That he had indulged regularly in performance-enhancing drugs during many of his ball playing years. Not only that, but Mark admitted juicing during the year when he broke Roger Maris's single-season home run record. (Was their a soul on Earth who was surprised? I think not.) On a positive note, he did do an honorable thing by calling the widow of Roger Maris to apologize. But, can we assume Mark came clean, so to speak? For even in his admission, Mark rejected the notion that the performance-enhancing drugs he took actually enhanced his performance! Instead, he gave credit repeatedly to 'the man upstairs' for giving him homerun-hitting gifts. (Did his drug source live above him?) Mark, the drugs may not have enhanced your eye-hand coordination. But, dude, the drugs undoubtedly made you stronger and, in the process, helped balls you hit travel farther than they would have under normal circumstances. Good try, Mark. But it's a bad assumption to believe you truly came clean.

Given all of the talk about steriods in the game, many assume that major league baseball (read: the Commissioner, the owners) actually cares about running a clean league. That would be a bad assumption. Bud Selig -- who has the street sense of someone who has no clue about reality -- now believes that baseball has accomplished its mission of ridding the league of performance-enhancing drugs. Keep in mind that our beloved Bud was one of many baseball team owners who reaped the rewards of stadia filled because of juiced ball players. Hard to tell what he really thinks (the photo here likely gives us a strong hint), but it would be a bad assumption to believe he's sufficiently concerned about the integrity of the game -- and the health of the players -- to do anything substantive about it. There's simply too much money in home runs.

And then there's Fox News. As we wrote in August of last year ("Walter, We Need You More Than Ever"), the vast number of people who watch Fox News believe they're receiving actual news. After all, the channel is called Fox News. But it's a bad assumption to believe that the network provides the news. Need proof? Just last week Fox News announced that none other than Sarah Palin will join their team. Sarah Palin, News Commentator. 'nuff said?

Yet despite the abundance of bad assumptions we can make as 2010 begins, let's take a moment to remember the passion and intelligence that was Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., whose birthday we honor this week. A remarkable man during a remarkable era in this country's history. Arguably one of the most influential people in the 20th century. We have a great deal to thank him for. And like most who seek change in the face of undaunting challenge, we can only wonder how things would be different had he lived to reach old age.

Happy Birthday, Dr. King! We remember. We'll always remember.