Another Bad Week for the Good Guys

Last week we watched as three stories -- one a nightmarish continuation from the prior week -- caused many to ask the question, "Is this your idea of a fun time?" Because it certainly isn't mine.

Let's start where we left off: In the Gulf of Mexico.

Burn, baby, burn. That's apparently a large part of the brilliant plan of BP, the owner of the well and of the oil continuing to spill into the Gulf at about 200,000 gallons a day: Burn it. Reminds one fondly of the days when the Cuyahoga caught fire as a result of the sludge dumped into the river by the local U.S. Steel plant. Remember that, Cleveland? Fun times, no? Well, we're reliving those wild times out in the Gulf, where controlled burning (a wonderful oxymoron, no?) is one approach being taken to deal with the millions of gallons of crude oil gushing from a hole in the gulf's floor 5,000 feet deep.

A call for marshmallows, we're told, went unanswered.

The other major thing BP is doing? Get this: They're planning on 'capping' the hole with a 100-ton dome-like structure and then pumping the oil from the dome into containers on the surface. This, they say, will capture 85% of the oil. If, they say, they can position the dome securely over their broken well. BP spokespeople have reminded us that the well is 5,000 feet beneath the surface and an operation of this type has never before been attempted. Remarkably, BP is making no promises.

This plan sounds suspiciously like something you'd see on a Saturday morning cartoon. (They still have cartoons on Saturday morning, don't they?) Something Wile E. Coyote might drop on the Road Runner? Shipped in a box marked 'Acme 100-ton Well-capping Dome.' And in smaller print, 'Position with care.' And in even smaller print, 'Don't expect this to work.' Looney Tunes, to be sure.

And even if it should work, what about the remaining 15% of the oil? Sorry, BP, that's still a lot of oil on the loose. Assuming 200,000 gallons per day, we're still looking at -- quite literally -- 30,000 gallons every day. Gonna burn that, too?

Let's put this in the 'We Refuse to Learn' column: There have been major oil spills in the Gulf of Mexico before. Namely in 1979, 2005, 2008, and 2009. You think, somewhere along the line, that we'd get smart. No such luck, I guess.

Enough of this! If you must drill, drill in a place where a spill won't have CATASTROPHE written all over it. A place we don't care much about. I'm thinking Arizona. (More on that in a moment.)

Merge, baby, merge. Last week, United Airlines and Continental Airlines announced plans to merge and, in the process, become the world's largest air carrier. The new company will be called 'United Airlines' and the planes will have Continental's logo on their tail. Love that they're sharing.

As a frequent United passenger, I've been receiving information from the company touting the wonderful benefits the merger will provide me, their valued customer. One airline with gazillion routes to cities far and wide, Continental's new fleet of aircraft, superior in-flight service, the opportunity to have access to both frequent flier programs, the joy of being associated with the world's largest carrier.

Oh, pa-lease. Like this is a good thing. Maybe for investors. Certainly not for anyone else.

Here's what they should be telling us:

• Flexibility will decline as routes are consolidated
• Fares will, as a result, increase
• Layoffs -- of support staff (e.g., HR, Finance, IT), management, and in-flight crews in both airlines -- will occur
• Unionized workers will get squeezed, as compensation and benefit plans are 'aligned'
  
• Despite a public declaration that Continental's Houston offices will remain, further downsizing will undoubted occur given that United is headquartered in Chicago
• In-flight service will likely decline given the lack of competition
• It's already difficult to cash in those frequent-flier miles; now it will be nearly impossible
  
• Airports, especially those now serving both United and Continental will certainly take a hit
  

I don't know about you, but I like a real choice when I fly. This merger lowers my degree of freedom by one. And that makes me cranky.

Crash, baby, crash. Who would have ever thought that Greece would be the center of the world's economy? (We're talking modern times. Not when Zeus was roaming the streets looking for trouble.) Yet, here we are. Greece's economic woes are now our economic woes. Need proof? How about the stock market's plunge last week? Nearly 1,000 points down on Thursday, before a 'rally' left the Dow only 348 lower than when the trading day had begun. And that was just Thursday.

Suspicions abound about the cause of Thursday's incredible swing. A human error -- someone pressing a 'B' for billion rather than 'M' for million? Or a computer-generated selling spree? If a computer is ever going to get us, a la the HAL 9000 of 2001: A Space Odyssey fame, this is how it will happen.

And that's just us? What of Greece -- where protests and rioting are widespread in an effort to curb the government's plan to curtail public services. Talk about fun.

On a (somewhat) positive note. A shout-out to Robert Sarver, managing partner of the Phoenix Suns, Arizona's lone professional basketball team. The Suns, who are currently involved in the NBA playoffs, donned jerseys last week to honor a huge portion of their fan base while, simultaneously, protesting Arizona's 'Los papeles, por favor' fascist, racist law. ('Fascist' and 'racist' have been added to clarify which 'Los papeles, por favor' Arizona law we're referring to.)

Always nice to see that the world of sports has an idea of what's going on outside the arena. My strong hope is that the San Francisco Giants will wear their Gigantes jerseys when they next visit Phoenix.

Another bad week. And let's not forget the failed car bombing in Times Square. (Ever get the sense that we're one or two steps behind the bad guys?)

Two bad weeks in a row, and counting. Let's hope it's not a trend.