Dear Dr. A

Excerpts from the advice column longed to write:

Dear Dr. A: My manager is a jerk. He micro-manages, trusts no one, insists on reviewing everything, is the bottlenecks of all bottlenecks, and takes credit for all of our successes. And to make matters worse, he's a terrible dresser. Case in point: he wears stripes with plaid! I hate coming to work. Is there anything I can do?

Bummed in Buffalo

Dear Bummed in Buffalo: Aside from some tension-reducing practical jokes involving farm animals and orange spray paint, no, there's nothing you can do. You're screwed. Oh, and quit whining. Stripes can go with plaid.


Dear Dr. A: I haven't received a performance review in three years. I think my supervisor is either lazy or is afraid to talk to me about my performance. Everyone else in my department has gotten a review on time. I'm the only one who hasn't. What do you suggest?

Overlooked in Omaha

Dear Overlooked in Omaha: Performance reviews are overrated, especially when delivered by the lazy or the afraid. Consider yourself one of the lucky ones. And don't bring this up again, okay? You will live a longer, more fruitful life without another performance review. (By the way, not getting a review is good training if you ever become an executive, who very rarely have their performance reviewed. It's true.)


Dear Dr. A: My company talks a good game. We hear a lot about speaking openly, making suggestions about improving things, doing what it takes to serve the customer, about us all being in this together. But when push comes to shove, it's just talk. No one really listens and ideas go no where. Improvements are never made. It's really frustrating. What can I do?

Frustrated in Philly

Dear Frustrated in Philly: Welcome to the club! You think you work for the only company that says one thing and does another? Geeze! You've got two choices: Deal with it or find another place to work. And since many companies only talk a good game, you'll probably soon be back in the same place as you are now. Frustrated. So, deal. Oh, and know that 'nowhere' is one word.


Dear Dr. A: I have a close friend and co-worker who is having a problem at work, but is too shy to write to you. 'Erica' likes our manager. And when I say 'likes', I mean likes, if you know what I mean. Do you know what I mean? (Do you know what I really mean?) 'Erica' 'likes' him a lot. I've checked with HR and there's no policy against 'liking' anyone at work, even a lot. What do you suggest?

Cautious in Cleveland

Dear Cautious in Cleveland: Let me take a wild guess: When you say 'like' you really mean 'want to have a hot, steamy relationship with'. Another wild guess: You like quotation marks. My last wild guess: You're 'Erica'. So given all of this, I'd suggest you tell Erica to do whatever she wants, but to do it discretely. Also tell her she's playing with 'fire'. (Those last quotation marks were for you, because, you know, you won't actually be playing with real fire.) And get over Lebron.


Dear Dr. A: I run a large company that's had to lay off a lot of very good people. It was a last resort, but we had to do it. The problem is that we didn't do it well. Now, we're fighting for our lives. Many of our people are upset, our competitors have stolen some of our best staff, and market share is eroding. You warned us this would happen. What can we do now?

Wistful in Washington

Dear Wistful in Washington: You didn't listen then, why will you listen now? Remember what we said? You didn't have to do the layoff. There are always alternatives. And the way you did it sucked. But, no, you pulled the trigger and now you've got a mess on your hands. Prove that you'll listen this time and then we'll talk.


Dear Dr. A: I love my job, my co-workers, my supervisor and my company! I look forward to coming to work every day. You get so many letters from people who complain about things at work, I just had to write to tell you things here are great. Thanks for listening.

Happy in Hanover

Dear Happy in Hanover: Get a life.