We Are What We Are -- Or Are We?

There's an old story about a man who, while hiking, comes across a wounded snake. The man gently carries the snake home and over the course of a number of months nurses the snake back to full health.

Soon afterward, the snake bites the man.

While dying of the venomous bite, the man asks the snake, "Why did you do this? Didn't I save you from certain death in the wild? Didn't I heal your wounds?"

"Yes," says the snake. "But didn't you realize that I was a snake?"

The story's lesson? Once a snake, always a snake.

We at The Job of Work wonder if this is indeed true. At our core, are we who we are with no room for significant growth? Are we predisposed -- possibly before birth -- to become what we are regardless of the people who touch our lives, the events we experience as we age? Are we each locked into a complex set of behaviors that defines us -- and are those behaviors impervious to observable change?

Said another way, are we stuck being us?

The simple answer, based on a growing body of research, is, fortunately or unfortunately, yes. Our personality appears remarkably resistant to change. We can learn new words and concepts, memorize capitols of the world, know which is the salad fork, and master new skills, but our temperament and dispositions -- our basic cognitive and emotional foundations -- are likely set in stone very early, possibly soon after conception. According to the research, there's room for 'growth', as behavior change is often referred, but not much. Even our maturation process (for those lucky enough to mature as they age, me apparently not among them) is predictable. We all have the strength of DNA to thank for this.

So, if it sucks being you, count on it to continue to suck being you.

Unless, of course, you're willing to do something about it. Something serious.

Our true belief: People are capable of significant change. We've seen many make huge progress in their attempts -- their quest -- to become someone new, someone they consider to be better. We've seen it at work where, for example, the most unlikely become outstanding leaders. We've seen it outside of work where, with guidance and support, some find their way to become the person they want to be.

It's a fight, to be sure, but a winnable one. And, importantly, an amazingly satisfying one.

But it doesn't come easily. The necessary ingredients -- the price of admission, so to speak -- are not negotiable:

• An unwavering desire to change
  
• Courage to admit it
• Strength to pursue it
• Stamina to endure the climb, and
  
• Someone to guide and support your assent.

In other words, you really have to want it.

If you or someone you know is up to the challenge, we're your firm. It's a great and important journey, one definitely worth taking. You won't be sorry. Indeed, when we're done you'll be able to look back and see that you're no longer a snake. And you certainly won't allow yourself to get bit.