An Unexpected Visitor

Dark.  Horn-driven soul music plays quietly in background.  Fade in.  START ON back of head of Man sitting at computer.  PULL BACK to reveal cluttered desk covered in scattered papers, several baseballs, framed photos of children at various ages, family, friends.  Continue PULL BACK to show walls of what's obviously a study completely filled with snapshots of children, families, colleagues; autographed photos; tributes;  shelves overflowing with books, baseball paraphernalia, bobbleheads, iPod player.  Neatly stacked waist high piles of books fill a corner of the room.  Clearly a place Man spends a great deal of time in.  Man reaches for baseball bat that rests against desk.  Holding it like a cane, he swivels in his chair toward camera.  His shoulders sag as he gives an exasperated look.

MAN

This isn't hard enough as it is?  I've got to have you looking over my shoulder?  By the way, who the hell are you?  And who let you in?

VOICE OFF-CAMERA

 The door was open.  We thought you were expecting us.

CLOSE IN ON MAN'S

FACE AS HE STANDS

MAN

 What in the world gave you that impression?

 VOICE OFF-CAMERA

Your assistant did.  When we called to schedule the interview.

CUT TO MAN'S HANDS

TIGHTENING GRIP ON

BASEBALL BAT

MAN

Assistant?  What assistant?

VOICE OFF-CAMERA

Trudy.  Your assistant, Trudy.  Nice, friendly.  Laughs a lot.  Gives good phone.

CUT TO BAT BEING

LIFTED SLOWLY
FROM FLOOR

MAN

You're joking, right?  Not only do I not know a Trudy, I've never known a Trudy.  And I don't have an assistant.  Aside from Siri, that is.

 
VOICE OFF-CAMERA

Cute.  That's cute.  But isn't this 243 Millhorn Way?

CUT TO BAT PULLED

INTO POSITION TO

SWING.  CAMERA, BOOM

AND CREW NOW

VISIBLE IN REFLECTION

IN GLASS OF SEVERAL

FRAMED PHOTOS BEHIND
MAN OVER DESK.

MAN

Not...even...close.

VOICE OFF-CAMERA

You're kidding, right?

CUT TO CLOSE UP
OF MAN'S EYES

MAN

Do I have the look of someone who is kidding?

VOICE OFF-CAMERA

[After pause]  No, actually you don't.  Not at all.  I can usually tell when someone is kidding.  And you don't have that look.  [Another pause]  Unless this is an example of really dry humor.  Which I appreciate, by the way.  The drier the better, I always say.  [Asking the crew]  Don't I always say that?

PULL BACK TO
SHOW MAN'S
FACE

MAN

I'm thrilled for you.  I really am.  Now, think it might be time for you and your friends here to find 243 Millhorn?  Someone's probably expecting you.  But before you go, would you care for a nosh?

PULL BACK TO SHOW

MAN'S FULL FACE AND

RELAXED STANCE

VOICE OFF-CAMERA

That'd be great.  It's been a long day already.  [Pause]  Wait.  [Pause]  You're being funny.  That's dry humor, right?  You're not really inviting us to stay and have something to eat, are you?

MAN

You're on to me.  I can tell.

VOICE OFF-CAMERA

 I've been told that I have a good sense about people.  Does it show?

CUT TO MAN'S HANDS

TIGHTENING THEIR

GRIP ON THE BAT

 

MAN

Thoroughly.  You're amazing.  How do you do it?  [Holds hand palm-out to camera in 'stop' position.]  Don't answer.  It will be a mystery I'll simply have to find a way to live with.  While I do, now would be an ideal time to leave.  Before I find a good use for this bat.

VOICE OFF-CAMERA

You're probably right.  [To the crew]  Pack it up.  We're outta here.

SOUNDS OF CASES
BEING OPENED

CUT TO MAN'S FACE WITH
BAT IN POSITION TO SWING
FOR THE FENCES

MAN

I'm probably right?

VOICE OFF-CAMERA

We'll just show ourselves out.

CUT TO MAN'S EYES

MAN

You do that.

VOICE OFF-CAMERA

By the way, one question:  How do we get to Millhorn from here?

CUT TO BAT BEING

PULLED BACK INTO

SWINGING POSITION

 

MAN

Once you're safely in your car, should that happen, call Trudy.  I'm sure she can help.

VOICE OFF-CAMERA

 Good idea.  We've bothered you enough for one day.

CUT TO MAN'S HANDS

GRIPPING AND RELEASING

BAT AS IF IN BATTER'S

BOX

 

MAN

You think?

VOICE OFF-CAMERA

You're being funny again.  I like it.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL

MAN, WAIST UP, READY

TO SWING AT NEXT PITCH

 

MAN

I'm thrilled for you.  Really, I am.  Now go.  Please.  Before I'm forced to get my bat dirty.

VOICE OFF-CAMERA

Okay, okay.  We're gone.

CUT TO CAMERA TURNING

AWAY FROM MAN AND 

DOWN AS IT'S TAKEN FROM
SHOULDER AND TURNED OFF.

SCREEN GOES DARK

VOICE OFF-CAMERA

 Hope we didn't disturb you.  Have a goo-

REST OF SENTENCE CUT

OFF AS RECORDING DEVICE

IS POWERED DOWN