We Are What We Are -- Or Are We?

There's an old story about a man who, while hiking, comes across a wounded snake. The man gently carries the snake home and over the course of a number of months nurses the snake back to full health.

Soon afterward, the snake bites the man.

While dying of the venomous bite, the man asks the snake, "Why did you do this? Didn't I save you from certain death in the wild? Didn't I heal your wounds?"

"Yes," says the snake. "But didn't you realize that I was a snake?"

The story's lesson? Once a snake, always a snake.

We at The Job of Work wonder if this is indeed true. At our core, are we who we are with no room for significant growth? Are we predisposed -- possibly before birth -- to become what we are regardless of the people who touch our lives, the events we experience as we age? Are we each locked into a complex set of behaviors that defines us -- and are those behaviors impervious to observable change?

Said another way, are we stuck being us?

The simple answer, based on a growing body of research, is, fortunately or unfortunately, yes. Our personality appears remarkably resistant to change. We can learn new words and concepts, memorize capitols of the world, know which is the salad fork, and master new skills, but our temperament and dispositions -- our basic cognitive and emotional foundations -- are likely set in stone very early, possibly soon after conception. According to the research, there's room for 'growth', as behavior change is often referred, but not much. Even our maturation process (for those lucky enough to mature as they age, me apparently not among them) is predictable. We all have the strength of DNA to thank for this.

So, if it sucks being you, count on it to continue to suck being you.

Unless, of course, you're willing to do something about it. Something serious.

Our true belief: People are capable of significant change. We've seen many make huge progress in their attempts -- their quest -- to become someone new, someone they consider to be better. We've seen it at work where, for example, the most unlikely become outstanding leaders. We've seen it outside of work where, with guidance and support, some find their way to become the person they want to be.

It's a fight, to be sure, but a winnable one. And, importantly, an amazingly satisfying one.

But it doesn't come easily. The necessary ingredients -- the price of admission, so to speak -- are not negotiable:

• An unwavering desire to change
  
• Courage to admit it
• Strength to pursue it
• Stamina to endure the climb, and
  
• Someone to guide and support your assent.

In other words, you really have to want it.

If you or someone you know is up to the challenge, we're your firm. It's a great and important journey, one definitely worth taking. You won't be sorry. Indeed, when we're done you'll be able to look back and see that you're no longer a snake. And you certainly won't allow yourself to get bit.

Letters

Recent unanswered letters to The Job of Work...

Dear TJOW: I've been with my current company going on 10 years. I've been promoted a number of times but I am now close to the top of this division. My manager will be retiring in the next couple of years and I want to position myself as his replacement. What brilliant suggestions do you have?

Ambitious in New York

Dear Ambitious: Brilliant suggestions? Us? Haven't you been reading this blog? Brilliant is a stretch, don't you think?

Self-deprecation aside, we do have a number of suggestions for you. None brilliant; all practical.

1. Produce outstanding results in your job. Do not settle for good or even great. Blow through your goals and demonstrate that you are a terrific performer. If you can't do this, no need to read any further.

2. Become a thought leader in an area essential to your organization. As an example, if improving product quality is essential to your division's future success, become fluent in how successful companies have increased product quality, how they've measured these gains, sustained their gains, and develop ideas about how to improve it where you are.

3. Act the part. If your company has a set of defined values and/or behaviors, live them. More importantly, demonstrate them daily. Be the person who everyone sees, especially your boss's boss, as the logical successor to your manager.

4. Have your successor in place. Identifying your replacement and having that person fully ready to step into your job now will make it easier for you to be promoted when your manager retires.

5. Dress for the part. It's a useful idea to dress for the job you aspire to, not the job you have. How does your boss and his or her peers dress? While we don't subscribe to the notion that you can tell a book by its cover, or that conformity is the key to success, we do support you to look like the executive you hope to become.

6. Stay cool. Few admire and fewer like those who jockey for promotion. Be enthusiastic about your current job and consider the brilliant suggestions above. If you're worthy, your day will come.

Dear TJOW: I have a decent job and work for a company with its heart in the right place. My problem is with my manager. She is a stickler for time. 'Judy' insists we be at our desks at precisely 8:30 every morning and never leave work until 5:00 at the end of the day, even though we're salaried employees and do not punch a time clock. What 'Judy' doesn't realize is that this is encouraging me to spread my work over the entire day, rather than try to get it done faster. She is also encouraging me to think about finding another job, since she's making me feel like I'm in grade school again. Any suggestions?

Irked in Arizona

Dear Irked: Yes, we suggest three things:

1. Show up on time and stay until 5:00. Since thems the rules, we suggest you follow them. You might even think about showing up a bit before 8:30 to demonstrate how very responsible you are.

2. Depending on the relationship you have with 'Judy', you might consider asking her about her time demands. She's bound to tell you that punctuality and working a full day are essential to the success of the department, especially in these demanding times. Try to explain how this makes you feel less like a trusted adult and more like a child. Having the conversation may help you understand her motives and help her understand how her actions impact you. Don't expect her to change her tune.

3. If you get your work done before 5:00 p.m., ask 'Judy' or your peers if there is more you can do. You're being paid for a full day's work. Might as well do it.

Dear TJOW: I'm part of a leadership team, or so I'm told, that isn't given much chance to lead. The typical pattern is for the team to be presented with a pressing business issue by our boss and, in the same breath, the solution to that issue. No discussion, no involvement, no consideration of options or alternatives. Worse, no one on the team says a dissenting word -- even if the solution seems headed for failure. What's a guy to do?

Disgruntled in Atlanta

Dear Disgruntled: Our first best suggestion is to talk about it. Begin by asking your peers about their experience on the team, if only to determine if your views are shared. If they are, you might ask your peers why no one broaches the topic during team meetings. If your views are not shared, you might consider monitoring the situation a bit longer to determine if your observations about non-involvement are sound. Assuming they are, consider approaching your boss and sharing what you have shared with us. Positioning the conversation as 'a way to improve the effectiveness of the leadership team' might go along way to helping make the discussion productive and not a personal affront to the leader's style.

Dear TJOW: Our department of 45 people is a complete mess. We have no real standards -- except to get the job done. Decisions are made but are almost never carried out. We rarely talk about the problems we're having. Our last customer survey showed that their satisfaction is at an all-time low, but nothing is being done about it. I've talked with HR but they don't have any good suggestions about how to fix things. I feel like a failure. Help!

At My Wits Ends in Boston

Dear At My Wits Ends: You are clearly living in a difficult and damaging workplace. Issues widely experienced but not acknowledged or discussed is, at its core, what defines dysfunction. Worse, this dysfunction appears to be taking its toll on you -- as it usually does, diabolically so. Your feelings of failure are a direct and unfortunate outcome.

We suggest the following:

1. Attempt to convince yourself that this situation is not of your making. This is not about you. This is about what is happening at work. You are in it, but you are not causing it.

2. Approach your manager to discuss the situation. Depending on the relationship you have, try to have this conversation outside the office, perhaps over coffee or lunch, to allow for a more relaxed discussion. When you do, consider outlining your observations in the context of 'difficulties I am having at work' so as not to appear to blame your manager for the problems. Try to determine if your manager is similarly frustrated.

3. If you can, encourage your manager to contact HR for support in addressing the issues the department is facing. If HR is able to help, great. If not, consider outside support.

4. If you get nowhere with your manager and the problems persist, consider seeking work elsewhere. Dysfunction has a nasty way of undermining one's sense of self-worth. A poor-performing department is one thing; being damaged personally by work-place dysfunction is another thing entirely.

Dear TJOW: (In response to last week's blog about humor) Amen.


Laughing in Palo Alto

Dear Laughing: We couldn't have said it better had we tried. (And we did!) Thank you!

(Just About) Better Than Anything

That's how we at The Job of Work consider laughter: It's just about better than anything.

It's certainly better than getting poked in the eye with a sharp stick. (Or a dull one, for that matter.) It's better than stubbing your toe. It's better than watching the Republican presidential debates (though, one must admit, they have been entertaining). It's better than taking your car in for a smog check or fighting a traffic ticket in court. It's better than most days at work. It's way better than paying taxes.

When you think about it, laughter is among the greatest of our involuntary reflexes. It's right up there with breathing and that cool thing your leg does when you're hit below the knee in just the right spot.

Laughter produces, too. Worthy things like:

• Euphoria, if only momentary
  

• Reducing stress
  

• Diminishes pain
  

• Builds great abs (with far less pain than doing crunches, or so I'm told)

• Prevents and fights disease

• Helps us face the challenges and woes of daily life

Laughter also produces happiness. Mustn't forget that.

And that's just for starters.

We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail. Dave Barry

You've got to be honest. If you can fake that, you've got it made. George Burns

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. Groucho Marx

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. Albert Einstein

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done. Steven Wright

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. Yogi Berra

So if it's so good for us and feels terrific besides, why don't we do it more often? And why don't we help others laugh?

Might it be that many consider laughter be an inappropriate adult behavior? That it's somehow too childish? Or, worse, immature? That the things we do as adults are simply too serious to allow us room to laugh? Or, horrors of horrors, that we outgrow the ability to laugh?

We at TJOW beg to differ. No doubt, life is serious. Poverty, war, natural disasters, hatred, injustice, unemployment, aging parents, teenagers. It can be difficult to see one's way through the morass to a place where humor is possible. But see our way through we must. And when we get to that other side, there must be humor. Our belief -- and we have scientific fact to confirm it -- is that there simply are not enough truly funny people.

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? Lily Tomlin

I was so naive as a kid. I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing. Johnny Carson

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. Mark Twain

The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then gets elected and proves it. P. J. O'Rourke

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. Will Rogers

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. W. C. Fields

Too bad, too, because laughter is one of the greatest of human behaviors. The younger we are, the better we laugh. There's nothing quite like a child laughing hard, with total abandon. That uncontrollable, completely honest, explosion of joyousness. No self-consciousness, no concern for what's 'right'. Just a big, gut-shaking, cheeks-lifting, hard-to-breathe laugh. It's even better if the child is eating, or better yet, drinking milk while laughing. That milk out the nose thing is one of life's true miracles.

Admit it: Laughter is infectious.

Some guy hit my fender the other day and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful and multiply.' But not in those exact words. Woody Allen

My views of birth control are somewhat distorted by the fact that I was the seventh of nine children. Robert F. Kennedy

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck

Before a man speaks, it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks it is seldom necessary to assume. H. L. Mencken

I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife. Henny Youngman

When choosing between two evils I always like to try the one I've never tried before. Mae West

It's so core to our species that to not laugh is akin to not fully living. And if that's true (and who's to say we're wrong?) then the corollary is also true: The less you laugh, the less you're truly alive.

With that in mind, when was the last time you had a good laugh? A really good laugh. The kind that makes you cry? The kind where your cheeks don't come down? The kind where you need a few minutes to catch your breath and straighten your hair and clothes afterward? The kind that feels fantastic?

If it's been over a week, it's been too long. Trust us. We're trained professionals.

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them. Rita Rudner

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. Will Rogers

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. Winston Churchill

I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices. Mark Twain

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself. Johnny Carson

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. Lily Tomlin

Think of laughter as sex for your brain. From a biological standpoint, there more similarities than you might imagine. But laughter has a distinct advantage: You can do it out in the open, with as many people as you'd like, and have absolutely no concern about the age or gender of the people you're laughing with. You can do it on-line, without anyone wondering what you're up to behind that computer of yours. You can do it on the first date without fear of rumors. And there's no wet spot, unless you laughed really hard.

I never forget a face. But in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. Groucho Marx

I'm not a member of any organized political party. I'm a Democrat. Will Rogers

I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. Yogi Berra

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it. W. C. Fields

What is it about death that bothers me so much? Probably the hours. Woody Allen

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. Albert Einstein

Life is serious. But not as serious as we make it. As Mel Brooks once said, 'Humor is just another defense against the universe.' And since we need all the defense we can get, given the state of our world, we urge you to find a way to laugh. With any luck, the guy next to you will start laughing too. And then the woman next to him will join in and then her friend will laugh and a movement will have begun. We'll call the movement 'High Cheeks'. Our slogan: 'Keep 'em high!'

It'll be our little joke.

New Ideas For a New Year

Welcome to the first full work week of 2012. We hope the cobwebs have cleared and that you're back in the swing of things. And, of course, already thinking about Valentine's Day, which is fast approaching. (Sorry. Just trying to watch your back.)

Speaking of new ideas for a new year, we would like to present two we think are compelling and worthy of your attention. We believe both concepts are essential to any organization's ability to sustain profitable growth and to the people within it -- that's you -- crafting a successful and rewarding career.

No surprise, by the way, that a company's growth and the growth of its people are inextricably linked. They are. Show us an organization that takes career growth seriously -- and is good at it -- and we'll show you a company that attracts and retains the best and outperforms the competition. Or, said more colloquially, show us a company that grows its people and we'll show you a company that kicks some serious butt.

So, to those concepts:

1. Two Hats Are Better Than One. Not two heads, two hats. As in two jobs or key responsibilities at work. We propose that the successful workplace of the future will give anyone who's willing and able the opportunity to have two different roles. A primary role and a secondary role. Like a major and a minor. Working in Sales, for example, and being involved, say, in product development or HR.

We advocate this for two important reasons:

• It's great for the company. Having people wear two hats helps to eliminate those dreaded silos, enables more cross-functional thinking and collaboration, more fully utilizes the skills and abilities of its people, increases efficiencies, and produces more powerful outcomes. It also helps build a capable bench, as well as strengthens the company long-term by creating flexibility and scalability. Think of a baseball team with players who are skilled at both a primary and secondary position. A catcher who can play the field, for example, increases the team's resilience and likelihood of success over the long run.
  

• It's great for the individual. Wearing two hats gives people that much more of an opportunity to make a significant difference at work, something many yearn for -- and is central to one's level of engagement in and commitment to an organization. Wearing two hats also provides an opportunity for the individual to develop a broader, more diverse set of skills. Indeed, the concept of being only in Sales, for instance, is so traditional, so last century. Being in Sales and having some responsibility for product development or HR, for that matter, will make for a more talented, well-rounded performer. Yes, having major and minor roles at work is more demanding but ever so rewarding.

We think all good companies will embrace this approach within the next 5 years.

2. What's Your App?™ Our second new concept for the new year is about the skills and abilities you bring to work and how you define them. Specifically, what expertise do you provide your company and what does that expertise produce? If an app is a specialized process that results in something tangible, what app or apps would represent you? How much demand would there be for your app(s)? Said another way, how often would your app(s) be downloaded? And at what price?

Creating and packaging yourself -- defining your value proposition, we consultants would say, with an emphasis on producing a tangible, valuable outcome -- will be essential in the new and emerging world of work. This will be especially true as companies move to allow many to have multiple roles at work. Thus, you may need at least two apps to define you, two clusters of skills that each produce real and valued outcomes. Regardless, clarity, specificity and reliable, outstanding performance will be key. We'll talk much more about this in the weeks ahead. In the meantime, what are your apps?

Have a good week. With or without those cobwebs.

A Joyous 2012

To a healthy, extraordinarily happy and fabulous New Year!

Some celebrations from around the world:

SydneyLondon
Paris
Vancouver
Rio De JaneiroBrisbane
Hong Kong
My City By The Bay

Our New Year's wish: Make this your best year ever, with a strong emphasis on 'make'. Learn a new language. Make new friends. Find old ones. Listen compassionately. Bring more passion to your work. Get in better shape. Sing and dance with abandon. Play something; play anything. Lead with your heart. Infect others with joy.

No resolutions. No false promises. Just do it. Start today. We'll love you even more for it.

See you next week when our ability to write longer sentences will hopefully return.

Happy 2012!