It's Labor Day and I trust you're spending the day recognizing and honoring the contributions made by the tens of millions who have built this country. You are, aren't you? I, for one, am instead wondering why the Florida Republican Party believes that Obama's upcoming address to the school children of this country will carry a 'Socialist agenda' and that health care for every American is somehow considered a left-wing Socialist pursuit. But Labor Day -- a day to honor the workers of America -- is not. Regardless. It's a beautiful day and let's hope that stores everywhere are filled with shoppers.
In keeping with the theme of Labor Day, let's consider one of the ubiquitous -- and largely mis- and/or under-utilized -- elements of the work place: The Employee Opinion Survey. 
This device, as you undoubtedly know, is designed to help an organization's management identify and understand the thoughts and opinions of its employees. Often constructed and analyzed by highly-educated and technically-trained experts (some of them brilliant, I might add in a glaringly transparent and self-serving way), employee opinion surveys can help leadership isolate issues that, if attended to successfully, can help improve the overall performance of the organization. The problem, though, is that most companies, shocking but true!, don't allow the inclusion of survey items that we'd all undoubtedly be eager to answer.
This device, as you undoubtedly know, is designed to help an organization's management identify and understand the thoughts and opinions of its employees. Often constructed and analyzed by highly-educated and technically-trained experts (some of them brilliant, I might add in a glaringly transparent and self-serving way), employee opinion surveys can help leadership isolate issues that, if attended to successfully, can help improve the overall performance of the organization. The problem, though, is that most companies, shocking but true!, don't allow the inclusion of survey items that we'd all undoubtedly be eager to answer.So, in honor of Labor Day, here at last is the employee opinion survey for the working masses. The survey we've always wanted to use. I call it, lovingly, The How-Much-Does-It-Suck-To-Work-Here? Survey (copyright 2009, The Tobe-Schnur Group). With sincere apologies to all of those who are committed to the use of well-constructed, psychometrically-sound surveys. (This includes you, NH, PDY, and Dr. J.) Enjoy.
The How-Much-Does-It-Suck-To-Work-Here? Survey
Instructions: For each item below, select one number that best represents your view. Use this scale:
1 = It sucks almost all of the time
2 = It sucks most of the time
3 = It sometimes sucks
4 = It rarely sucks
5 = It almost never sucks
6 = Like I care
7 = Are you kidding?!?
Your responses are completely confidential. Only tabulated results will be provided to management and they probably won't be able to figure out what you're trying to tell them anyway.
Have at it.
I. About Your Company and Your Job
1. In general, how often does this company suck as a place to work?
2. Overall, how often does it suck to tell your friends what you do at work?
3. When you consider everything (e.g., your manager, the work you do, the workplace, your pay, etc.) how would you rate the extent to which your job sucks?
II. Leadership
4. Considering the state of your 401(k), how would you rate executive management's ability to lead your company through this current economic crisis?
5. How would you rate the credibility of information executive management provides you regarding the financial performance of your company? (If you get your best information about your company from the 'grapevine' or from external sources, please skip this item. Management hates to hear that their credibility is in the toilet.)
6. Overall, how would you rate executive management on treating you like a valued member of the team? (This is not a 'trick' question.)
III. Your Immediate Manager
Definition: Your 'immediate manager' is the person to whom you report and who does your annual performance review -- even if you don't see this person too often and even if you haven't had a performance review in years.
7. How would you rate the quality of information you receive from your immediate manager? (If you receive no information -- but that information is accurate -- please circle '1'. Consultants thrive on negativity.)
8. How would you rate the coaching/mentoring you've received from your manager. (If you've received none, please circle '7'. If you don't have a manager, don't tell anyone!)
9. How would you rate your manager on dealing with the poor performance of that guy we all know sucks at his job?
10. How would you rate your manager on taking personal responsibility for the many asinine things he or she has done over the years?
IV. Advancement Opportunities
11. How would you rate your chance to advance in this company? (We know, but had to ask.)
12. How would you rate the fairness of the selection process when opportunities for advancement occur in your company? (Really. Please stop laughing.)
V. Pay
13. Consider the pay you get for the work you do. How often do you think it sucks?
14. Your company undoubtedly tries to tell you that the money they pay you for your job is fair and equitable. How often do you think their rationale sucks?
15. How would you rate the line your company gives you about there being 'pay for performance'?
VI. What Have We Missed?
Please use this area to tell us in your own words about anything we may have missed. Your comments will be provided to management. Please be as honest as you can. Try not to overuse the word 'suck'.
Happy Labor Day!
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