Got Soul?

I was asked recently by a very dear friend, a brother from another mother, to define 'soul'. Not soul food, soul mate, soul kiss, soul brother or sister, nor soul music. Not even the soul itself. Too bad, too, because I would have had a fighting chance with those. No, his interest was with having soul.

Do we all have soul?, he asked. Is soul something we grow, develop, enhance? Is it gender- and/or racial-specific? Does soul vary by religion? Must a serious hardship -- illness, death, poverty -- be experienced to have soul? What does having soul look like? How would I know if I have soul? Would others know if I have soul? Would having soul show?

One inquisitive dude, to be sure. Remind me next time to confine the conversation to a less weighty topic like, say, the meaning of life or the creation of the universe.

So, let's talk soul, specifically having soul. And let's start easy (since that's all I may be capable of) and avoid how religions approach the topic. You're on your own there.

Soul is a person's moral and emotional core, the essence of who we are. It defines how we communicate, emote, love. It's what we might refer to as heart, but deeper, more central to our identity. Soul is, in other words, who we are.

If confirmation is needed (hard to believe, given that you're reading the printed word on the Internet, where only truth exists), 'psychology' literally means 'study of the soul'. So as a psychologist, all in all, I'm perfectly equipped to answer my friend's questions.

Right. But I'll try, nevertheless.

Having soul, I humbly offer, is the state of being in which the convictions of the heart drive behavior. Having soul, therefore, is an observable trait. It can be seen. It is real. It defines an individual. It is values-based. It is emotional. It may be one of the coolest things -- if not the coolest thing -- we can possess.

Indeed, people who have soul:

• Are grounded and defined by strong morals
  
• Speak openly and honestly about their beliefs and values
  
• Are concerned for the well-being of others
• Provide support and assistance to those in need
• Freely display a wide range of emotions, regardless of social norms or whether 'it's the right time, right place'
  
• Laugh loudly, cry passionately
• Eat and love with abandon
• Enjoy and need physical contact with others
• Feel, really feel the joys and sorrows of this bizarre thing called 'life, and, importantly,
• Are absolutely and relentlessly true to their convictions.
  

Those who have soul may not be the happiest among us. But, for sure, they feel the most, because those who have soul have found a way to clear the barriers that typically exist between one's heart and the choices one makes about behavior. Those who have soul behave more consistently with what they believe to be right, with what they feel to be right. For them, heart and mind are one. Thus, for those who have soul, the expression 'heart and soul' is largely redundant.

We can talk about how having soul likely indicates self-actualization, but we'll leave the psycho-babble to a minimum here. Suffice it to say, that those who have soul are more real, more aware and more honest about who they are than those who don't. Those who have soul are more alive.

So, got soul?

An update from Chile. On Saturday morning, a drill, operated by workers around the clock for weeks, reached the 33 miners trapped nearly a half mile below the surface in northern Chile. It was a moment of euphoric celebration on both ends of the escape shaft. Completion of the tunnel excited the entire country, as many Chileans view the rescue as a test of national character and pride.

"What began as a potential tragedy is becoming a verified blessing," President Sebastian Pinera said in Santiago. "When we Chileans set aside our legitimate differences and unify in a grand and noble cause, we are capable of great things."

Amazingly, reports from the site indicate that the miners, who have been trapped since August 5, are fighting to see who would be rescued last. Talk about having each other's backs.

If all goes according to plan, the first miner will see sunlight on Wednesday after a 11- to 12-minute ride in a 21 inch-wide capsule nicknamed Phoenix. Oh, to be there when that first miner emerges! Stay tuned. This story may have a very happy ending.

It was 70 years ago. Happy belated birthday, John. We miss you. Not Yoko, just you.

Years ago, the advertising agencies of Canada participated in a novel competition. Agencies drew a number at random and were tasked with creating a campaign to market that number. TBWA Chiat/Day selected the number 4. Their mock ad, printed in The Toronto Star, Canada's largest newspaper, showed the faces of each of the four Beatles and Yoko Ono against a black background. Their slogan: All you need is 4 -- because five fucks things up. They took second place.