High Highs, Low(er) Lows

In this era filled with emotional highs and lows -- life these days seems to have taken on the look and feel of a wild roller coaster, no? -- a question comes to mind: How do your emotional highs compare to your emotional lows?

Before you answer, consider it this way: If your normal emotional state is, say, 50 on a 100-point scale, what number would you ascribe to an emotional high? What number best defines an emotional low?

That question was posed to 25 randomly-selected adults (read: People who just happened to cross paths with me this week and were unable, despite their best efforts, to evade my questions.). The results were surprising (at least to me):

• The average 'high' = 78 (28 points above the midpoint)

• The average 'low' = 10 (40 points below the midpoint)

According to this very limited sample, our highs, in general, don't seem to be as powerful as our lows.

These same 25 adults were then asked to consider their experiences at work.

• The average 'high' at work = 66 (a mere 16 points above the mid-point)

• The average 'low' at work = 14 (36 points below the midpoint)

At work, it would seem, our highs are not nearly as powerful as our lows.

If these data have any validity, what might this say about us? That we're less able to experience happiness than we are sadness? That elation is not as powerful as disappointment? That we've been conditioned -- taught -- to focus less on our successes than on our failures and, in the process, to feel less joy? Or, possibly, is it that there's simply less to be happy about?

Before moving on, let's make an important assumption: That we're born with the ability to experience joy (the 'high') and sadness (the 'low') with equal intensity. Just watch any young child move instantly from unbridled laughter to intense tears and back again. This suggests that the assumption has merit.

So, if we begin life with the ability to experience highs and lows equally, what happens to us as we develop? I'd suggest the following:

• Many of us are taught from an early age that while success is important the avoidance of failure is even more important.
  

• We are taught as children that it is polite and appropriate to temper our demonstration of happiness, especially in front of others.

• In this country, where personal achievement is so highly valued and goals tend to be lofty, a disproportionate percentage of the population experiences more disappointment due to under-performance than happiness due to success.

• While success at work may be recognized, failure and the potential for failure are ever present and are incredibly powerful -- as evidenced by the 'what-have-you-done-for-me-today?' and the 'you-are-only-as-good-as-your-last-performance' syndromes. Said a different way, the casual 'Nice job.' is not nearly the equivalent of 'You failed.'.

• Sadly, we may have fewer opportunities to experience elation than we do sadness or disappointment. (This may be especially true in the workplace.) As a result, our ability to feel elation fully when the moment presents itself may diminish over time.

• And maybe, as my nephew put it, we're better at being sad than we are at being happy.
  

Regardless, it's a sorry state of affairs if our highs aren't as powerful as our lows. It's also a sorry state of affairs if we have fewer highs than lows. But, just possibly, sadness is a stronger emotion than happiness. More on this in the weeks ahead.

But talking about high highs, though, how about the saving of the 33 trapped miners in Chile? An amazing story and lasting memories for anyone who watched the flawless rescue effort. To this, I say:

Chi-Chi-Chi Le-Le-Le!

Y para mis amigos en Chile:

!Lo que es un logro maravilloso! Con todo el mundo viendo, el pais realizo un milagro. Guardo 33 hombres, sus familias y las unnumerables personas que algun dia viviran porque estos hombres han regresado. Es verdaderamente un milagro y tenemos que dar las gracias. Que le han dado la esperanza del mundo.

(!Perdonar la falta de acentos! No estan disponibles en esta pila.)

Have a good week. Look for happiness. It's everywhere.