There Really Should Be An App For That

Five hundred thousand apps and counting. Apps for travel, apps for shopping, apps to identify songs, exercise apps, language apps, networking apps. Apps to locate a parked car. Even an app to help us barbecue.

Each app more amazing than the next. But despite the volume and breadth of the near-half million apps already in existence, there are still at least two we at The Job of Work await.

One we'll call iTruth. This app, using sophisticated, state-of-the-art voice recognition and assessment technology, determines the extent to which an individual provides truthful information. Operating much like Shazam, the user simply presses the iTruth icon and the app records, evaluates and reports within seconds a simple rating of the truthfulness of the message being conveyed by the person.

Think of the value! Use it in your next Town Hall meeting at work. Ask about company performance, plans for the future, growth -- anything you truly want to know. Impending layoffs in the offing? Additional furlough days being planned? Is there confidence in company plans to grow market share? Is there true commitment to improving the employee experience? And what about those delayed pay increases?

So many questions, so little time. But now, complete confidence that the truth has been spoken -- or not.

iTruth works anywhere, in any language. It works over the phone as well as it does in person. Try it the next time you contact that cable television call center and ask for a specific arrival time for the repair technician. Or, better yet, get in touch with that ex-boy or girl friend. Oh, the things you will learn!

Use the iTruth app to determine the true veracity of the responses you receive. No longer will you have to wonder what portion of the responses was fully accurate. No longer will you need to examine each response in detail, attempting to parse the truths from the untruths. Take the guesswork out of message analysis.

Watch the circle in the center of the app. Green indicates 'fully truthful', yellow indicates 'somewhat truthful', and red indicates, you guessed it, 'not even a hint of truth'. And if the red light begins to blink, the app has determined that the speaker is 'purposely attempting to mislead'. Extended blinking leads to a harsh, audible tone that communicates to all in earshot that the individual is, technically speaking, a lying chump. No need to say it yourself; iTruth does the talking for you!

iTruth. The app that cuts through to the truth, or lack there of.

The second app we eagerly anticipate is one we'll call simply Integrity. This brilliant app is designed for anyone who leads people and therefore requires others to find him or her to be of high trustworthiness and of strong moral character. Much like iTruth, but in reverse, Integrity provides a continuous and accurate gauge of the amount of integrity others believe the user of the app possesses.

Touch the Integrity icon. Begin speaking. The app, using a telepathy-based technology modeled after the original Star Trek tricorder, measures the m-waves being emitted by those listening to the individual. (Sound complicated? It is. That's why it will cost $1.99.) The app assesses the collected data, provides benchmarking against a database of high-, moderate- and low-integrity individuals. (Don't ask; the list is proprietary and carefully guarded -- but probably soon to be released by Julian Assange.) A simple readout is provided on the face of the device. A fully- highlighted Integrity column indicates a strong belief in the speaker's trustworthiness and moral fiber. A partially-highlighted column indicates only a moderate confidence in the speaker's integrity and an unhighlighted column indicates that the speaker is seen to be fully bereft of integrity.

No longer will you have to guess about how people see you! Put aside that question about whether people believe you. Now, for once, you'll know. While you won't be able to read their mind, you will know what's in their heart, which may be more important anyway. Instant feedback that really and truly matters.

A perfect app for, among many, the business leader and politician. Not recommended, however, for parents of teenagers, due to the propensity of teens to view their parents with contempt. Also not advisable for the military, given that most there carry guns. Definitely not recommended for those who weren't planning on a second date, despite promises to the contrary, or those who can't handle the truth.

Integrity. The app that gives back what you dish out.

See you next week.

Warning Signs

An unemployment rate of nearly 10%. Layoffs continuing. Most doing much more work with fewer people. Organizations striving to return to pre-recessionary performance. An economy turning upward, but ever so slowly. A time that requires new thinking, new approaches to ensure success.

Given the climate, you'd think employees -- management and non-management alike -- would be looking for viable ideas to improve operational performance, pulling in the same direction, working together to drive growth. You'd think they'd circle the wagons, develop a bold plan to take the market, mobilize the workforce and, said inelegantly, kick butt. Together.

That's what you'd think, anyway. And even though that's precisely what most at work want, alas, you'd be wrong.

It's not that employees below the executive level aren't interested in helping their organizations improve. They are. In most cases, desperately so. We know, because they tell us. Even so, in many places it's just not safe -- from a career and/or job-security standpoint -- to change. Indeed, in many organizations it's safer to keep one's head low, go with the flow, and avoid conflict at just about any cost. Sadly, in many places it's safer to agree than to disagree, to acquiesce rather than seek new solutions, to keep one's mouth shut. And this head-low-don't-make-waves-of-any-kind approach, while self-preserving, undermines an organization's ability to perform well. We know this too, because our data confirms it. Loudly and clearly.

So, what are the tell-tale signs of an organization unable and/or unwilling to change? What might one hear that would suggest to the trained ear that a company is destined to mediocrity at best and that positive change is not likely in the cards? In other words, what should you be listening for to determine if your organization is one in which change will be hard to come by?

As a public service to organizations everywhere -- especially those striving to improve service, efficiency, quality and/or profitability -- we at The Job of Work offer ten indicators -- warning signs, if you will -- that positive change may not be achieved any time in the foreseeable future. In a lifetime, actually. These warning signs indicate that there's trouble in River City and not because of a new billiard table. Each is a large, vivid red flag, raised high and screaming for all to hear: "We need help -- and fast!"

Ten warning signs of an inability/unwillingness to improve. Beware of any of them.

• "We've always done it this way." Possibly the #1 excuse for not seeking new possibilities, new solutions. Suggests that our way is the best way or, worse, the only way. Probably heard often in typewriter manufacturers and other companies which preferred death to change.
  

• "We can't change. There's just too much history here." By frequency, the #2 excuse of all time -- and a lame one, to be sure. A clear acceptance of impending failure. It's as if there's a shared belief in these organizations that there is simply not sufficient intelligence and/or will power to try anything new.
  

• "They are the problem." Where they is anyone and everyone else, both internal and external. We'd be fine if it wasn't for them -- be they the executives, the Sales team, Marketing, Manufacturing, IT, Finance, HR. Or, say it ain't so, the customer or, horrors of horrors, the competition.
  

• "There's no rush. Let's wait." Delaying action is the first step to preventing action, including progress. Winners act, losers wait. In which do you work?
  

• "Our employees' perceptions are wrong." Heard often among executives following an employee survey. A clear sign of a significant disconnect. Worse, evidence of mistrust and, in turn, an inability to alter direction.
  

• "We're okay. Turnover among our top talent is low." A head-in-the-sand belief. Why change if people aren't leaving? The far better question is: What are we doing to inspire, motivate, engage and mobilize our talent to win? Even so, just wait. Voluntary turnover may be low now; it won't be as the economy improves.
  

• "Yes." Especially when said often and by many. A passive acceptance, even of bad ideas. Indicates an unwillingness to disagree. A key indicator of a significant business issue. Even worse when followed by 'Sir' or 'Ma'am'.
  

• "The declines in customer satisfaction are a product of the times in which we live." Not accepting the reality of customer service issues and/or deflecting responsibility for them can be fatal. It's also wrong, as some organizations' customer satisfaction scores have been strong, while the scores of others are on the rise.
  

• "That's as good as we can be." Accepting status quo -- even if it is at a stellar level -- is an indication of acquiescence that, left unchecked, will temper the views and work behavior of anyone within earshot. It has the power to demotivate even the most aggressive among us. Squelch this thinking quickly and thoroughly.
  

• "It's too hard, too risky." Talk about whining! Too hard, too risky? Pobrecito. How else do you win? Our guess is that people who say this also state "It's not my job." Both are ways to avoid change and both should be immediate grounds for dismissal, if you ask us (which you haven't).
  

The landscape is littered with organizations unable to change. Our research indicates clearly that those companies where it is safer, more politically correct to cling to the current state for whatever reasons -- rather than discuss, plan, and execute toward a future state -- are significantly more likely to fail in this era where change is required to thrive. Our research also demonstrates that a clever, engaging employee-driven process (of our design, by the way) can create an environment of involvement, innovation, performance improvement and growth. We know, because we've seen it happen and have the data to prove it.

Don't wait, thinking that this need for change shall pass. (Yet another warning sign!) Change is required to survive -- and will be for years to come. It's a new game and only a few know the new rules.

Call us, we can help. Especially if you're hearing any of the warning signs that, when translated, means: "I'm fine with failure."

Jumping In Rain Puddles

In honor of the life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., we at The Job of Work ask you to spend a few moments in reflection of the events of the last couple of weeks. Weeks in which Tucson, Glock, and Blood Libel have filled the airwaves. Weeks in which the polarizing, hostile manner we debate crucial issues has finally been called into serious question. Weeks in which courage, conviction and hope -- ideals so close to Dr. King's heart -- have come to define this tragedy and how we as a nation can move forward.

We ask you to consider the sentiments expressed by President Obama in his eloquent plea for a more civil discourse, for a nation to become a more perfect union, one that might make a 9 year-old girl proud. He speaks of courage, conviction and heroism. Of cooperation and compassion. Of love and hope. Close your eyes and you just might hear a voice from 1963 describing a very special dream.

Let us come together to honor the vision of Dr. King by living our lives with passion, honor and a heart filled with love for others. And, from time to time, jump in a rain puddle or two. It will complete your soul.

Take a Hike!

We mean it. Literally. Take a hike. If not a hike, then a good walk. If not a good walk, at least one around the block. If not around the entire block, go exactly half way and turn around and walk back. (A little 7th grade math humor. Forgive us.) If that's too far, walk to the end of the block.

Walk. Somewhere, anywhere.

And, please, no excuses. Excuses are for the fat and unfit among us. No whining about the weather. No garbage about not having the right shoes or the right outfit. No rationalizing about today not being a good day to start.

Walk.

Want to feel better, both body and soul? Want your clothes to fit? Want to feel more capable, more self-assured? Want more mojo? Want to feel happier?

Walk.

Start easy. Walk for 15 minutes every other day -- and not a minute more than 15 minutes every other day. For two weeks. Your pace isn't as important as walking for the entire 15 minutes. But a little competitiveness isn't a bad thing. See how far you can walk in those 15 minutes and try to beat it each time you walk.

After two weeks, walk for 20 minutes every other day, and not a minute more. Do it for two weeks, again seeing how far you can go in those 20 minutes.

Now you're a month into it. You're ready for the big time. Walk for 30 minutes every other day. Make sure you perspire. If you don't, you're walking too slowly.

Thirty minutes every other day is all we at TJOW's Health and Well-being Department ask. But, hey, if you want to walk longer every other day that's cool. We'll still love you.

You're asking: Why have we devoted an entire week's blog to walking? Have we suddenly become exercise fanatics? Jack LaLanne devotees? (Boy, that reference surely dates us!) What's next, health food advocacy? Have we turned our back on fried food, sugary baked goods, cow? Have we, OMG!, started to think about our own mortality?

Fear not. Our hedonistic way of life is not in question and will be -- must be -- preserved. No, this is about something better.

So, why the advocacy for walking? Because, class, it's the easiest, least expensive way to feel and look better. Body and soul. And who among us won't benefit from feeling and looking better? (Let's avoid naming names, okay? This is the blogosphere, after all.)

Oh, and did we mention that walking reduces stress? Not like any of us has excess stress these days, mind you, what with work going beautifully for all of us, the economy humming on all cylinders, and everything at home functioning smoothly. No, everything is perfect. Right?

What's cool about walking is that nothing is required. No gym membership. No special clothing. No expensive shoes. No classes, meetings or point systems to learn. No special diet. No psychotherapy. And driving isn't even required. Start and end at your front door.

Most importantly, it will work. We defy you not to feel better. We defy you not to feel more fit. We defy you not to feel more relaxed, more self-confident, more self-assured, happier. You might even sleep better.

Indeed, if after you've been walking for a week or two and don't feel better, write to us. We'll refund your money.

But, fair warning: You may find walking to be habit-forming. You may find that feeling and looking better becomes you. You might actually become more fit. (Really. It's been known to happen.) And, as a result, you may find yourself thinking of other things to do outdoors.

Like, horrors among horrors, running. Or, better yet, bicycling.

Don't ever say we didn't warn you: Walking can lead to more strenuous forms of exercise. So proceed with caution. You never know where feeling and looking better might take you.

But enough talk already. Take a hike!

Wishes for a New Year

Welcome to 2011. We hope you had a marvelous holiday season and are ready to jump back into the wild, exhilarating white-water ride we call life. Don't let the over-indulgence and lack of sleep of the last week deter you. You might be a bit heavier and your head may still be filled with cobwebs, but not to worry. Even so, sit up and take a look around: This year is going to be a fabulous one.

Wait, you say? Where's the cynicism, the skepticism, the anger? Can this really be TJOW?

Yes, it is. While we're only a few days into 2011, the signs are abundantly clear. We're in for an amazing year. More than that, actually. We're poised for a year in which hope becomes reality. A year in which graciousness will thrive. A year of growth and learning. A year of strength. A year of success. A year of happiness.

Trust us on this: It's going to be a very good year. We know. We're professionals.

But it won't just happen. Greatness never just happens. In this case, we're talking about something huge, something monumental, something life-changing. For a year this big, this cool to happen, it's going to take all of us. Hey, you want to a brilliant year, there will be some things you'll need to do.

Know this now: Losing weight is not one of them. In many ways, it's easier than that -- and much more satisfying.

For us to have a wonderful year, we will all need to do a few things. For ease of selection, we've clustered the options into three categories: Essential, You'll Love It, That's Cool! Pick at least the minimum number required from each category.

Essential (Pick at least 5)

• Hold doors open for anyone
  
• While driving, wave to those who allow you to merge or change lanes
• Give up your seat on public transportation for someone who needs it more than you
• Get off your mobile phone while talking to a clerk or cashier
• Return calls and e-mail within 24 hours
• If you drive or walk slower than others, stay to the right!
• If you must smoke, at least put your butts in the garbage!
• If you weigh yourself regularly, stop immediately! Throw away your scale! Instead, eat an amount that allows you to fit comfortably into your clothing.
  

You'll Love It (Pick at least 3)

• Mentor someone at work
• Take a conversational language course
  
• Do something -- anything -- in the arts (e.g., play an instrument, take singing lessons, learn to dance, become a docent)
• Get physical: Walk, run, ride a bicycle, skate, bowl. Anything that gets your heart pumping and those endorphins flowing.
  
• Volunteer in a non-profit organization that needs your help
• Learn to cook or bake
  

That's Cool! (Pick at least 2)

• Help someone find a job
• Become a Big Brother or Big Sister
  
• Raise money for a worthy organization or cause
• Get involved in your local schools

An important note: Please don't approach these as you would typical -- and worthless -- New Year's resolutions. Do not plan to do these things. It's not about planning, it's about taking action. Do the things you've selected now, please. Indeed, the sooner the better, as each option will make you a more engaged, interesting, enthusiastic individual. A better friend, a great colleague. A nicer person. Sexier. (Hey, it's possible.) And that's just you. When we're all doing the things we've chosen, it's going to be a better world.

And that's why we're confident that 2011 is going to be wonderful. Because this year we're not leaving anything to chance. We, together, are going to make it a fabulous year. Starting now.