The (Truly) Best and Worst of 2011

It's that time of year when anyone capable of typing -- and many who can't -- amass and promote their 'best of' lists. Not wanting to conform -- but not wanting to fall behind either -- we at TJOW have combed our collective memories (2.7 minutes), thoroughly scanned the Internet (35.5 minutes), interviewed a guy on the street (more aptly, a guy lying on the sidewalk) (4.5 minutes), and conducted a comprehensive, in-depth survey of historians, political scientists, sociologists, academicians and others who know more than we about the truly important stories from this past year (18.0 minutes). This intense and incredibly time-consuming and energy-sapping research has yielded what we, humbly, believe to be the definitive best-of list for this nearly-complete year of 2011. And given that this intense project kept us from watching meaningless college football bowl games was an added plus. At least for us.

So, sit back and relax. Suspend judgment and anything resembling logic. Give yourself 1 point for every item on the list you would have selected. Subtract 2 points for every item you don't find worthy. We'll provide the scoring key later, toward the end of 2012 when we offer our next list filled with questionable and completely unworthy selections. Trust us; we'll remember to do so.

Ten Events That Defined The Year That Just Was

1. The rescue of the Chilean miners. Although this took place in 2010, this is still the best uplifting story of 2011. Which, of course, speaks volumes about the amazing rescue of the 33 miners and, sadly, about the dearth of heartwarming stories in 2011. Unfortunately, now a year after their rescue, many of the miners are suffering from depression, a sense of isolation and poverty. Just like the rest of us.

2. The Goldman Sachs Economy. So, it is still completely legal to deceive purposefully one's own customers, wreak havoc on the nation's economy, put millions of people out of work, create a domino effect that has nearly toppled Europe, and make billions of dollars in the process. Who said crime doesn't pay? In comparison, executives of La Polar, a large department store chain in Chile, are currently in jail during their trial for possibly deceiving their investors by posting artificially high profits. Why in jail? Because they have been deemed to be, get ready for it, 'a danger to society'. Let that sink in: White collar criminals considered a danger to society. Hmm. Maybe we have something to learn from our friends in South America.

3. Occupy Wall St. A terrific, galvanizing idea of a movement without, unfortunately, a true, galvanizing focus. Since when has the vast majority of Americans agreed with a protest movement even while that movement failed to develop a useful, productive rallying cry? Talk about the need for Michael Moore or a good marketing firm. Almost a great story. But maybe that is the story, especially for 2011: I'm mad as hell but don't have the first clue what to do about it.

4. The Get-Obama-Out-of-Office-At-All-Costs Movement. That cost? No united job creation effort, no measures to prevent another near-collapse of the economy, no funding of some rather important concerns, including, say, education and a crumbling infrastructure. But, at least, we know that Obama was born in the United States. (A concern born in racism, to be sure. And, yes, an intended pun.) A hearty thanks to all who have devoted the year to displace one worker rather than put the American people first and create jobs. May you all be forced to look for work yourselves in 2012. And may you not find any, just like the unemployed millions you've been overlooking.

5. Sex. Who could have ever predicted in 2010 that men's collegiate sports programs -- namely Penn St.'s football and Syracuse basketball -- would displace the attention on the Catholic Church as the #1 abuser of young boys? And that the mighty would fall? (Sorry, Joe. You simply didn't do enough.) Horrific. And we probably haven't seen the end of it. While we're on the topic of sex, let's not forget Dominique Strauss-Kahn and Herman Cain. While we're on the topic of sex, that is.

6. Unfathomable destruction globally.

• Australia: Floods, 37 dead, 9 missing
• Brazil: Landslide, 916 dead, 345 missing
• Burma: Earthquake, 75+ dead, 110+ injured
• Japan: Earthquake and tsunami, 10,000+ dead, 17,000 missing
• New Zealand: Earthquake, 166 dead
• Philippines: Floods, 75+ dead, and typhoon, 650+ dead, over 800 displaced
• South Africa: Floods, 91 dead, 321 injured
• Sri Lanka: Floods, 62 dead, 1.1 million displaced
• Thailand: Floods, 250+ dead, 2.5 million displaced
• Turkey: Earthquake, 400+ dead
• United States: Tornadoes, 460+ dead, over 8,000 homes destroyed

Think someone is trying to tell us something? And do you think that something is climate change? Another question: Will we get any smarter in 2012 about the need to deal with this?

7. The story all too few are discussing: The drought in eastern Africa. Tens of thousands have already died and an estimated 13.3 million people are threatened by a severe food crisis caused by the worst drought in 60 years in eastern Africa. We're talking famine of biblical proportions and this story is nowhere to be found. That the drought is being attributed to climate change is one thing; that we -- the collective, global 'we' -- aren't working feverishly to provide help is quite another. Why has this devastation not captured our attention? Why haven't we acted more decisively, more effectively? Could it be that we simply don't care about Africa? Might it be because those starving are black? These people are starving to death and we're not even watching.

8. Twitter revolutions. The Middle East and North Africa will never be the same. Revolutionaries, armed with social media to organize protests, overthrew governments in Tunis, Egypt and Libya and forced out the president of Yemen. Unrest continues in Syria, Bahrain, Kuwait, Lebanon, Oman, Morocco, Jorgan, Algeria, and Iraq. Tawakel Karman was one of three awarded the 2011 Nobel Peace Prize for his contribution to what has become known as Arab Spring. Others beware: Dictatorships, government corruption, human rights violations, economic decline, unemployment, and poverty won't be tolerated. Not as long as The People have Twitter.

9. Ends and beginnings. 2011 marked a number of important ends: The (illegal) war in Iraq, Osama bin Laden, Muammar Gaddafi, Kim Jong-il, Vaclav Havel, Andy Rooney, Sidney Lumet, Steve Jobs. Other ends: Oprah, All My Children. Ends, as they always do, mark new beginnings. How will we move forward? To what good will we devote the money we spent each month in Iraq? What improvements will result from the ends of some truly bad guys? Who will become our next big voices? How soon will we have an iPad that folds?

10. The end that wasn't. And the best non-story of the year? Rapture, Harold Lamping's latest inaccurate prediction about the end of the world. I, for one, am grateful that he blew it. Again.

So as we kiss 2011 goodbye and face 2012, I'd suggest we following San Francisco journalist Scoop Nisker's admonition: 'If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own.'

Just do us all a favor, please. Make some good news.

On Passion

A wise man once told me that you cannot buy passion. That combination of drive, desire and commitment that expresses itself as a powerful, compelling emotion is something that is found only rarely in nature. No classes, he told me, can teach it. No amount of money can create it. Passion, I was told, either exists in the individual or it does not. And more often than not it does not exist, he lamented. But, if it does exist, if there is that flame -- even a spark -- one can nurture it, shape it, and channel it to produce amazing results.

That, he explained, is true competitive advantage. A workforce passionate about a cause and sufficiently focused to unleash it every single day is an enterprise that cannot be beat. Find me passionate people, he instructed, and we can change the world.

And we did. At least the world of wine.

The sage? Robert Mondavi.

His words came back to me in a rush last week while attending the finals of La Copa de Sudamerica in Santiago, Chile. La Copa is South America's equivalent of our Super Bowl, but without the pregame flyover or, for that matter, reserved seating. In this case, the final match was played in the home of one of the finalists: La Universidad de Chile, which, despite its name, is a professional soccer club based in Santiago and affectionately know as 'La U'. La U had never won La Copa in its 84-year history. (Yes, Cal fans, there is hope.) So, imagine its fan base. Their excitement, their anticipation. Their frenzy. Now magnify that by, oh, a thousand and you'll begin to approximate what it felt like to be among them.

Talk about passion! The fans, 50,000 strong, began singing in unison more than an hour before game time and continued non-stop throughout the contest -- including during half time. Turn up your speakers and check out the fans before the match even began. The flares, fires (yes, fires) and fire workers are La U fans' doings and, apparently, their trademark.

While the video provides some illustration of the scene, the sound captures only a hint of the emotion. Imagine 50,000 hearts singing as one. For nearly 4 hours. The other team didn't stand a chance, which is precisely what La U fans had in mind.

Thankfully, La U won handily. Most believed the stadium and, possibly, the city would not have survived a loss. Such is the power of passion.

Say what you will, but I believe there is a vital, central role for emotion at work. Work should be important and people should care deeply about what they do at work and how they do it. And regardless of industry, it should be about achieving greatness. Because anything less is, well, boring.

I believe further that passion is the emotion that differentiates the best from the rest. This is not to overlook the importance of talent, of course. Show me a company filled with talented people who are passionate about what they do and I'll show you a winner. As a result, I have devoted a career to devising ways to infuse individuals, teams and entire companies with this freight train of all emotions. It is, without doubt, my passion.

So regardless of your interest in sports and/or South American soccer fans (!Felicitaciones, Clemente!), do consider the added value passion would bring to your organization. And then get in touch. We can show you how to go well beyond the singing-from-the-same-hymnal thing. We can get your people to sing in unison from their hearts and use that passion to drive significant performance improvement.

Your competition won't stand a chance. Which is precisely what you had in mind.

The Second Call

'Your appointment scheduled for tomorrow has been cancelled. You are now scheduled to see a neurologist at 9:30 a.m. on Monday, March 5, 2012.'

You read about the first call last week. This was the second.

March 5th? March!?! This is early December. A near three-month wait?

'We're sorry', we were told politely. 'There simply aren't any available appointments before then. We'll contact you if anything opens up.'

March. Given what's in the balance, how can we possibly wait until March?

Oh, how slow do the wheels of the healthcare system turn. Certainly without concern for those concerned. Those really concerned. Like scared to death.

That's when it struck me: We need selective, temporary amnesia. More specifically, I need selected, temporary amnesia. For three months, I need to forget about this one, very specific thing. Forget about the situation, the possibilities. Forget the anxiety, the fear. Until March 4. Then it can all come flooding back, just in time for the appointment.

How sweet would that be? To be able to forget this one thing for three months. Completely.

Let your imagination roam. Ours has.

Introducing ForgetAboutIt!, the simple device that helps you control memories you'd just love to forget -- at least for awhile. And it's so simple to use! Just place your thumb on the bioscanner, review the list of memories shown on the easy-to-read 3" diagonal monitor, select the memory you care to repress, choose the 'Memory Return Date' and press 'Enter'. ForgetAboutIt! does the rest. Within 15 seconds, all selected memories have been pushed to your subconscious, not to rear their ugly heads until the memory return date you selected. And that's it! (Prototype shown.)

Said the wrong thing last night at dinner? Swore during that big presentation at work? Asked a non-pregnant coworker when her baby is due? Dreading an upcoming performance review? Have a court date or a doctor's appointment you fear? Maybe a date with a dentist's drill?

ForgetAboutIt! is your ticket to peace and serenity. At least temporarily.

ForgetAboutIt! surrounds those pesky memories with the very latest in neuro-inhibitors, completely preventing recall until the date you've chosen. Our patent-pending nano technology is immune to hypnosis and other memory enhancement methods and is guaranteed to be fully effective, or your money back. (If, of course, you remember purchasing ForgetAboutIt! in the first place!)

Possible side effects include: headache, nausea, stomach upset, insomnia, persistent belief that you've forgotten something, loss of appetite. In some cases, users develop a phobic fear of snakes and alcohol addiction. In rare cases, some users experience delusional thinking and intense mood swings. Should either occur, contact your physician immediately.

Available without a prescription in drug stores everywhere. Batteries not included.

I'll risk the fear of snakes. Sign me up, please. I don't know how I'll make it to March 5 without it.

The Call

The older you become, the more likely it's going to happen. Each passing day brings that much greater likelihood, that much greater probability. Because as you age, so do your parents. And if you're lucky enough to have both still alive, the probability of this event occurring doubles.

There's no getting around it: It will happen. There is absolutely no avoiding it. Because that's what aging is all about.

Get older, thankfully have two parents still alive, and that call will come. It is inevitable as many of you already know.

For me, that call came this week. A call, the call, that instantly changes everything. That call that signals the beginning of heavy involvement within the health care system. The call that indicates that you and your siblings had best get a good plan in place. Soon. The call that, in our case, gives us an opportunity to discuss and agree on a path forward -- through terrain where we've luckily never been and eventually through a landscape no one ever wants to visit, much less explore -- but one we now know we will need to.

That call. For me, my first call.

The voice on the other end of the phone said it all in one word: Alzheimer's. Additional details provided context: Difficulty shaping thoughts, slurred speech, 'loss' of an hour while on errands, inability to remember common details.

(Yes, but has his sense of humor been effected? No, I was told, it's as bad as ever. He says now he'll have a ready-made excuse for when he gets caught in his neighbor's bed.)

The voice also said: More tests are needed. There's the possibility he's suffered a series of small strokes.

Yes, that call.

The call in which you begin to wonder which of two really bad things might be better: A series of small strokes or Alzheimer's?

The call in which you search your own mind's data base for studies and statistics on Alzheimer's, new drug therapies, and anything else you've read about the disease. And, of course, you remember nothing.

The call in which part of your consciousness attempts to convince you that this is not happening or that the caller is inaccurate or somehow not a credible source of information.

The call in which another part of your brain is telling you, clearly and with calm, 'This is your dad. He's 87. He's making risque jokes about the advantages of a poor memory. He'll be okay.'

The call during which you wonder how this might change our lives as we support our father through this.

The call in which you quickly move from diagnosis to rapid decline to assisted living to residential living to complete loss of reality. To death.

The call in which you begin to think about how much this all might cost.

That call.

And, no, it wasn't a long conversation. I did my best to struggle through what couldn't have been more than 5 minutes. Amazing the thoughts that scream through your head at such a time. I'm comforted by some, embarrassed by others. Just like I won't forget the call, I certainly won't forget my initial reactions.

A short, matter of fact call that changed everything. Mostly, of course, for my dad, who now knows the end is in sight.

That call.