The (Truly) Best and Worst of 2011

It's that time of year when anyone capable of typing -- and many who can't -- amass and promote their 'best of' lists. Not wanting to conform -- but not wanting to fall behind either -- we at TJOW have combed our collective memories (2.7 minutes), thoroughly scanned the Internet (35.5 minutes), interviewed a guy on the street (more aptly, a guy lying on the sidewalk) (4.5 minutes), and conducted a comprehensive, in-depth survey of historians, political scientists, sociologists, academicians and others who know more than we about the truly important stories from this past year (18.0 minutes). This intense and incredibly time-consuming and energy-sapping research has yielded what we, humbly, believe to be the definitive best-of list for this nearly-complete year of 2011. And given that this intense project kept us from watching meaningless college football bowl games was an added plus. At least for us.

So, sit back and relax. Suspend judgment and anything resembling logic. Give yourself 1 point for every item on the list you would have selected. Subtract 2 points for every item you don't find worthy. We'll provide the scoring key later, toward the end of 2012 when we offer our next list filled with questionable and completely unworthy selections. Trust us; we'll remember to do so.

Ten Events That Defined The Year That Just Was

1. The rescue of the Chilean miners. Although this took place in 2010, this is still the best uplifting story of 2011. Which, of course, speaks volumes about the amazing rescue of the 33 miners and, sadly, about the dearth of heartwarming stories in 2011. Unfortunately, now a year after their rescue, many of the miners are suffering from depression, a sense of isolation and poverty. Just like the rest of us.

2. The Goldman Sachs Economy. So, it is still completely legal to deceive purposefully one's own customers, wreak havoc on the nation's economy, put millions of people out of work, create a domino effect that has nearly toppled Europe, and make billions of dollars in the process. Who said crime doesn't pay? In comparison, executives of La Polar, a large department store chain in Chile, are currently in jail during their trial for possibly deceiving their investors by posting artificially high profits. Why in jail? Because they have been deemed to be, get ready for it, 'a danger to society'. Let that sink in: White collar criminals considered a danger to society. Hmm. Maybe we have something to learn from our friends in South America.

3. Occupy Wall St. A terrific, galvanizing idea of a movement without, unfortunately, a true, galvanizing focus. Since when has the vast majority of Americans agreed with a protest movement even while that movement failed to develop a useful, productive rallying cry? Talk about the need for Michael Moore or a good marketing firm. Almost a great story. But maybe that is the story, especially for 2011: I'm mad as hell but don't have the first clue what to do about it.

4. The Get-Obama-Out-of-Office-At-All-Costs Movement. That cost? No united job creation effort, no measures to prevent another near-collapse of the economy, no funding of some rather important concerns, including, say, education and a crumbling infrastructure. But, at least, we know that Obama was born in the United States. (A concern born in racism, to be sure. And, yes, an intended pun.) A hearty thanks to all who have devoted the year to displace one worker rather than put the American people first and create jobs. May you all be forced to look for work yourselves in 2012. And may you not find any, just like the unemployed millions you've been overlooking.

5. Sex. Who could have ever predicted in 2010 that men's collegiate sports programs -- namely Penn St.'s football and Syracuse basketball -- would displace the attention on the Catholic Church as the #1 abuser of young boys? And that the mighty would fall? (Sorry, Joe. You simply didn't do enough.) Horrific. And we probably haven't seen the end of it. While we're on the topic of sex, let's not forget Dominique Strauss-Kahn and Herman Cain. While we're on the topic of sex, that is.

6. Unfathomable destruction globally.

• Australia: Floods, 37 dead, 9 missing
• Brazil: Landslide, 916 dead, 345 missing
• Burma: Earthquake, 75+ dead, 110+ injured
• Japan: Earthquake and tsunami, 10,000+ dead, 17,000 missing
• New Zealand: Earthquake, 166 dead
• Philippines: Floods, 75+ dead, and typhoon, 650+ dead, over 800 displaced
• South Africa: Floods, 91 dead, 321 injured
• Sri Lanka: Floods, 62 dead, 1.1 million displaced
• Thailand: Floods, 250+ dead, 2.5 million displaced
• Turkey: Earthquake, 400+ dead
• United States: Tornadoes, 460+ dead, over 8,000 homes destroyed

Think someone is trying to tell us something? And do you think that something is climate change? Another question: Will we get any smarter in 2012 about the need to deal with this?

7. The story all too few are discussing: The drought in eastern Africa. Tens of thousands have already died and an estimated 13.3 million people are threatened by a severe food crisis caused by the worst drought in 60 years in eastern Africa. We're talking famine of biblical proportions and this story is nowhere to be found. That the drought is being attributed to climate change is one thing; that we -- the collective, global 'we' -- aren't working feverishly to provide help is quite another. Why has this devastation not captured our attention? Why haven't we acted more decisively, more effectively? Could it be that we simply don't care about Africa? Might it be because those starving are black? These people are starving to death and we're not even watching.

8. Twitter revolutions. The Middle East and North Africa will never be the same. Revolutionaries, armed with social media to organize protests, overthrew governments in Tunis, Egypt and Libya and forced out the president of Yemen. Unrest continues in Syria, Bahrain, Kuwait, Lebanon, Oman, Morocco, Jorgan, Algeria, and Iraq. Tawakel Karman was one of three awarded the 2011 Nobel Peace Prize for his contribution to what has become known as Arab Spring. Others beware: Dictatorships, government corruption, human rights violations, economic decline, unemployment, and poverty won't be tolerated. Not as long as The People have Twitter.

9. Ends and beginnings. 2011 marked a number of important ends: The (illegal) war in Iraq, Osama bin Laden, Muammar Gaddafi, Kim Jong-il, Vaclav Havel, Andy Rooney, Sidney Lumet, Steve Jobs. Other ends: Oprah, All My Children. Ends, as they always do, mark new beginnings. How will we move forward? To what good will we devote the money we spent each month in Iraq? What improvements will result from the ends of some truly bad guys? Who will become our next big voices? How soon will we have an iPad that folds?

10. The end that wasn't. And the best non-story of the year? Rapture, Harold Lamping's latest inaccurate prediction about the end of the world. I, for one, am grateful that he blew it. Again.

So as we kiss 2011 goodbye and face 2012, I'd suggest we following San Francisco journalist Scoop Nisker's admonition: 'If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own.'

Just do us all a favor, please. Make some good news.